* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ...

☯⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀heads, you 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 ; tails you 𝘥𝘪𝘦 .ᐟ

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

https://t.co/EuxOMpBaML

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

⠀⠀⠀⠀
﹠. 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙻𝚈 𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙻𝙳 𝙸𝚂 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀 ...
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

Grabs hold of Eddie's and squeezes, yanking it close.

"You're a headache."

[‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ❯ Ꮢ. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ @3NlGM4]

Mmmmmmph.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

Don't 'hmph' me.

[‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ❯ Ꮢ. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ @3NlGM4]

…noted. Hmph.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

You're gonna to give me a stroke.

And not the 𝘧𝘶𝘯 kind.

[‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ❯ Ꮢ. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ @3NlGM4]

I’ve had your dick…dicks? Hm. Plurality is such an interesting function of the English language. Anyways. You can’t light me on fire simply for having correct opinions and giving great head.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

𝐈 𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐔𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐆𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐃 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍' 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 --

Eddie. Don't make me beg.

[‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ❯ Ꮢ. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ @3NlGM4]

I am not! I’m explaining basic math concepts. It’s hardly my fault the other guy can only count by twos and tie his shoes.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐦𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 --

You're doing it on purpose.

[‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ❯ Ꮢ. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ @3NlGM4]

Two odds always make an even, don’t be a grump.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐝𝐝 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬.

[‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ❯ Ꮢ. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ @3NlGM4]

Sooooo testy, Harv.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

Yeah. Okay. Now I want to ragdoll you.

[‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ❯ Ꮢ. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ @3NlGM4]

Would you prefer a harmonized sales tax of 5% and 7% state and federal respectively? It might assist with your…mm. Pants. Issue.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

Chill out my pants are getting tight.

[‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ❯ Ꮢ. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ @3NlGM4]

$2.22 would be more appropriate, ideally with a twelve percent sales tax to bring the total to $2.48.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

kill everyone NOW

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

$3 is DISGUSTING

[‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ❯ Ꮢ. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ @3NlGM4]

https://t.co/Uy4gLlG3Nx

[Dan Carney @DanManCarney]

Your honor my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

Picking an invisible piece of lint from his suit; straightening a zebra-print pocket square that contrasts beautifully with the deep burgundy color of the left side.

The other side is plain charcoal. Harvey's choice.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

Yeah, that's what husbands do.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

He dropped the soap. I was helping him pick it up.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

You look familiar. We know you, son?

[‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙺 ﹖ @CELICACRASHED]

Thanks, pal. I grew it myself.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

We haven't forgotten.

Have you forgotten we don't like being fussed over and compared to a baby? Do you wanna be infantalized?

We're a grown ass man! Men. Plural.

[‍ ‍ 𝒢𝙷𝙾𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙴 .ᐟ @PETSCEMETERIES]

⠀⠀

no. my * HUSBAND. if you've forgotten.

⠀⠀⠀

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

"This a bomb?"

Shaking the box real hard, half-grinning.

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

Yeah ... definitely ... Other.

Want some cake?

[zay’yah. @SEMISYNTHSLAYER]

I run the hot too! We are like the siblings from the other parental units!

[* 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 ... @DentedSanity]

Who? The Joker?

[‍ ‍ 𝒢𝙷𝙾𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙴 .ᐟ @PETSCEMETERIES]

⠀⠀

it's a joke. i can't joke anymore? geez... somebody used to like my jokes.

⠀⠀⠀