Disheveled Devil

[Professor OAK 🇵🇸 @o_a_khan]

this is why we need 50 acre data centers, so Scottie can generate AI images of his own hand wearing things in his own house

[Scott Saunders @__scottsaunders]

First day of the season. Just as a reminder.

[Rio Ferdinand @rioferdy5]

The recruitment has taken a battering at Manchester United over the last 10 years & rightly so….
But we need to shout out…
Ayden Heaven - £1m 😱
Still lots to learn but called upon once again & delivered!

[centredevils. @centredevils]

🚨🚨🎙️| Jamie Carragher on Lisandro Martinez’s red card:

“He's going for the ball and he's almost grappling. He's trying to grab onto something and he's caught the back of his hair - it could've been his hair or anything. He's got him for about half a second. 

I don't think any football fan, manager or player is thinking 'that's a red card'. Everybody is looking at that and thinking 'oh come on, that is not a red card, behave yourself'.”

[osama @0ba0sama]

Americans after finding that a group of fish is called 'school'

[The xG Philosophy @xGPhilosophy]

From open play:

Arsenal (0.19) 0-2 (1.22) Bournemouth

[🍊 @KPmufc]

Basically...

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

apple there has to be a better way to add an iPhone app to a folder than chasing said folder round the screen as it carries out fighter jet level evasive manoeuvres

[Domino's Pizza UK @Dominos_UK]

Man City when another club gets fined before they do

[Joe Thomlinson @joethomlinson]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Z @BrianZisook]

Hit shuffle on an album? That’s psychotic behavior.

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

Kobbie Mainoo on Instagram. 🚨⤵️

[JerryRigEverything @ZacksJerryRig]

Donald Trumps name appears more often in the Epstein Files than Harry Potters name appears in all 7 Harry Potter books.

[JD Vance @JDVance]

Remember when we learned that our wealthiest and most powerful people were connected to a guy who ran a literal child sex trafficking ring? And then that guy died mysteriously in a jail? And now we just don't talk about it.

[lucy @satellitelucy]

Refusing to come out during warmups cos your teams got a rainbow flag on the jerseys just to then pull a muscle in the first couple of minutes of the game because you haven’t warmed up is so funny

[Sky Sports Premier League @SkySportsPL]

👀

[Adam McKola @AdamMcKola]

They spent all week trying to tell us they'd beat 2008 Manchester United and couldn't even beat 2026 Manchester United. 😭

[The xG Philosophy @xGPhilosophy]

Arsenal created just 0.39(xG) from open play against Man Utd.

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

In honor of lasting one full year in office, @CAGovernor Gavin Newsom today awarded Donald Trump the California Peace Prize. Please join us in congratulating Daddy’s Little Helper!

[The xG Philosophy @xGPhilosophy]

Man City just suffered their biggest xG defeat. Ever.