Devin Nunes' Grapes

I'm a bunch of grapes co-owned by Devin Nunes, waiting to be turned into wine to make $$ for investors who allegedly hire underage prostitutes and dig yachts.

[Devin Nunes' Grapes @DevinGrapes]

Man, @KimStrassel went to visit @DevinCow but not me? I'm so offended. Maybe she didn't want to be associated with the winery whose yacht hosted Devin's co-investors doing coke and getting BJs from 14 year olds.

[Devin Nunes' Grapes @DevinGrapes]

I never see my owner anymore. He's so busy on Fox News, palling around with DC lobbyists, and up in Boston watching sports that he never visits me, never checks on how I'm growing, whether I'm well-enough fed, well-enough watered... I wonder if @DevinCow feels the same?

[Devin Nunes' Grapes @DevinGrapes]

Crap. Just realized I have more brains than my owner. #lifecomesatyoufast #carterpage

[Devin Nunes' Grapes @DevinGrapes]

Oh wait, I read the rest of the piece. I guess I'm not worth as much as tickets to some stupid basketball game. Now I feel a little... bitter. Hope it won't affect the flavor of Alpha Omega's wine! https://t.co/IwCtqWg4Re

[Devin Nunes' Grapes @DevinGrapes]

It's awesome when you get a cold-hard-cash-valuation of your worth as a fruit. According to @DevinNunes and @McClatchyDC, it seems I'm worth a whole $5k. Not bad, right? https://t.co/IwCtqWg4Re

[Devin Nunes' Grapes @DevinGrapes]

OK, that last tweet was a little tasteless. Unlike the wine I'll make, which is awesome. Just ask my Russian buyers!

[Devin Nunes' Grapes @DevinGrapes]

Thanks so much to @MackenzieMays for raising my profile so much. To think that just a couple months ago, I was just a pile of fruit waiting to ferment and be sold off like an underage prostitute.

[Devin Nunes' Grapes @DevinGrapes]

Red, red wine... goes to my head...