Devin Moskowitz

Jacksonville University Student. Communications/PR and Art History. Enthusiast of traveling the world, modern art, and the Carolina Panthers.

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

Me: what’s your sign?

Vera: I don’t have a Twitter

Me (again): ...... what? 🤔🤔

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

Vera: my drink is strong, can you dilute this please?

Waiter: can I what? I don’t even know what that word means!

Vera: can you add water?

Water: nah, I can’t even touch alcohol man!

Me: ...... what 🤔🤔

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

PSA: if you are expecting a quiet family dinner, do NOT go to a sports bar on a home team game day. Just don't.

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

How to ruin my whole day in 9 words: ground hold in Charlotte, flight delayed until further notice.
😑😑😑😑

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

Mom: That was before hormones and speedy growth stuff.

Me: wow, that was technical.

Mom: Miracle Grow! That's what I meant!

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

Bye bitches, I hope you never find your dad. ✌🏼️✌🏼 #MovieQuotes #ButNotReally #Elf

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

I swear more people in Jacksonville have a broken brake light than a functioning one.

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

Shamelessly guilting your sisters into attending an event with snapchats of the dogs that will be there. #TSM

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

We're all significantly insignificant, and the sooner you realize that, honey, the better off we're all going to be.

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

"Do you have any hot sauce.... I like the *looks bartender up and down* hot things in life *wink*" -girl next to me

I think I'm vomiting

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

The people I can shamelessly send a text back to immediately are my favorite.

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

Certain people should not be allowed to exist in the morning. Like me. And everyone that annoys me.

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

It's okay, I totally understand that you've been too busy to even open my text for the last 11 hours.
Please, take your time.
I'll wait.

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

Have you ever just wanted to look someone dead in the eye and very politely ask them the shut the hell up? #PleaseStopTalking

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

The word "done" has lost all meaning, that's how incredibly done I am.

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

Dear emotions,
You can leave now.
K thanks bye! ✌🏼️✌🏼

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

Me: I found a 4 year old puppy today!
@brider325 : that's not a puppy, that's a fish.

Wait what? 🐶🐠

[Devin Moskowitz @DevinMosk]

Sign of a true friend:
When they agree to look like crap to run errands with you because you also look like crap.
@Gmdobbs24