Nelia

I got lost in the Cloud, I live there now.

[Nelia @DevNelia]

#KubeCon? we will attend it live.

[Delicious Tacos @Delicious_Tacos]

I’m the CEO of a hot dog company. I’ve worked on hot dogs for 10 years. And *I* wasn’t prepared for what I’ve just seen. Your life is about to change.

So what can you do?

Buy as many hot dogs as you can. Buy stock in hot dog companies.

[Nelia @DevNelia]

Is this a skit or documentary?

[ABISCO @Abisco__]

Na to go buy generator tomorrow😂

[Nelia @DevNelia]

Twinnn

[The Air You Breathe 🌬️ @BlehisBack]

Random but I used to bend my neck like this throughout my childhood. It bothered my mum so much, she took me for tests.

Everybody said there was nothing wrong with the neck.

She’d always ask if it was paining me. I’d say no. In my head, I was keeping it straight. 🫠

Sometimes even as an adult, I still have to mentally bend my neck to the opposite side cause that’s the only way it looks straight to others.

Whenever I’m doing a shoot and the photographer says straighten your head, I just bend it to the right in my mind and immediately he says ‘yh, it’s straight now’ 😭

Something something neurological.

[Nelia @DevNelia]

@sorakeiusura Your wallpaper😭😭😭

[Doctor @DipshikhaGhosh]

“Out of ten men,
one makes a sexual joke directed at a woman,
two laugh alone,
three don’t find it funny but still chuckle to fit in,
four say nothing, they pretend they didn’t hear it at all.
Not a single one speaks up,
not a single one stops it.
Later, aside from the man who made the joke, the other nine all believe the same thing - men like that are a minority, most men aren’t like this.
They all see themselves as part of the good majority.
But from the woman’s perspective, the one being harassed, there is no big difference between them.
The laughter, the silence, the looking away - all of it creates the same environment.
So when women say most men are the same, this is what they mean. Not every man harasses women but most men participate in protecting the system that does.”

[Charms @The_amakaaa]

If you ask me for money rn it means you hate me and want me dead

[inhuman resources @inhumandept_vp]

Our company takes security seriously.

So we did a surprise phishing test.

We sent everyone an email titled:

“CONFIDENTIAL: Layoff List Attached. DO NOT SHARE.”

If they clicked the link, it was marked as a failure.

At the end of the week, we downloaded the results.

We fired everyone who didn’t click.

If you see the words “Layoff List” and don’t want to know, you clearly lack hunger.

Those who click?

We cut their salary by 15%

Never compromise company's security.

[HALO @halosonhorns]

Somebody’s Daughter, Someone’s Son
1/4

[Melissa Chen @MsMelChen]

This is a better script than any Hallmark movie:

> man sells company for hefty profit
> pursues immortality by becoming the world’s most expensive guinea pig
> daily routine includes 111 pills, blood-plasma transfusions from his own teenage son, measuring his nighttime erections
> achieves biological age of a 28-year-old… but emotional age of a robot
> realizes he has optimized every biomarker except for.. people who voluntarily hang out with him (a.k.a friends)
> launches “Don’t Die” movement. Accidentally starts a cult
> falls in love with the one woman who was by his side since day one of his journey
> she's his longtime doctor / nutritionist / data priestess / social media guru who's been there through the 2 am rectal ozone sessions and the silent dance discos
> she's measured everything - no one knows him more than she does
> something in his optimized little heart glitches. For the first time in years, his cortisol spikes from an unregulated human emotion instead of a scheduled stress test
> he may have eliminated 85% of microplastics from his balls but nothing, nothing will improve the quality of his life more than being in love with her
> he whispers, “I spent years trying not to die… and you’re the first thing that ever made me want to live.”

[Nelia @DevNelia]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Last month my intern asked for help with a Kubernetes error.

He was stuck on a YAML file.

He looked desperate.

I make $275,000 a year.

I haven't written a line of code since 2017.

I don't even know what a "pod" is.

But I didn't tell him that.

I leaned back in my Herman Miller chair.

I said, "Stop trying to code. Start prompting."

I told him to paste the error into ChatGPT.

He did.

The AI told him to delete the cluster.

He did.

Production went down instantly.

The CEO called me screaming.

I didn't panic.

I told the CEO we were "testing our disaster recovery protocols."

He was impressed by my foresight.

I got a bonus.

The intern got fired.

Innovation requires sacrifice.

Just not mine.

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

It is 4:30 PM.

Everyone is packing up.

They think they are safe.

They think the day is over.

I decided to push a mandatory Windows Update.

To the entire sales department.

Right now.

I heard the screams from down the hall.

"Do not turn off your computer."

"Updates are 12% complete."

They have to stay. They have to watch the percentage bar.

Why did I do it?

To teach them patience.

To teach them to save their work.

To teach them that IT controls the clock.

I am leaving now.

My machine is running Linux.

I don't update. I innovate. See you tomorrow.

[Nelia @DevNelia]

I love twitter soo much🤣

[Cary Kelly @CaryKelly11]

If you take fish oil supplements, you should probably learn how they make them. This is an absolute deal breaker for me.

Source: worldtradeprodotcom (IG)

[Nelia @DevNelia]

I remember crying my heart out with so much pain whenever the name “Kano Nwankwo” was mentioned.

[Maria Made in Cosmos ✨ @made_in_cosmos]

1.5yo is devastated because he repeatedly asked for milk and we gave him milk instead of the apple juice he wanted for the whole time

[Nelia @DevNelia]

I remember telling my friend this. He mentioned how my work voice is always so peppy and cringe but man I’m just trying to survive!!!

There’s a reason I nap immediately after work😭.

[𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚌 𝙲𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚜 🍄 @anactualwalnut]

Not to be that feminist but it is so intriguing to me just how different men & women behave in corporate settings. Women are almost always very 😃😃 !!! No problem!!! So awesome to meet you!! 😃😃 of course!! And you can’t tell if men in corporate America loathe you or not because their demeanors are very dry and matter of fact. Nothing wrong w being matter of fact but women typically overcompensate personality wise to avoid being labeled “bitchy” or “difficult” and men don’t really feel the need to do that so they can just act normal

[Nelia @DevNelia]

Oh.

[Dominik Tarczyński MEP @D_Tarczynski]

Nigerian Christians will be rescued very soon!

[Nelia @DevNelia]

In big 2025 lol. People are currently losing hope in tech in the country and freaking out about AI and this is where we are at lol.

Forever grateful to @SheCodeAfrica

[Mark Essien @markessien]

HNG mentors discussing how best we can be very nice to our students.

[Nelia @DevNelia]

Honestly chill!

[Abnormal Saline @oyinloluwas]

You tell a man your plans, next thing “when do you intend to start the courses you talked about”😖

[Nelia @DevNelia]

Oh my God 🤣

[Pearl📈 @feranmi_pearl]

This is exactly why people call Gen Z soft. The moment there’s a little inconvenience, you start writing long essays. Why don’t you tell your university lecturers that the education system is toxic too?

Bro people just want to be babied and then they’ll complain if something goes slightly wrong

[𝐀𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑🎬❤️ @_aaronmylove]

I wanted to do a thread but I decided to just write in my notes.

This shall be the last time I shall be answering anybody on this abortion case—i had to mentally go back to somewhere I didn't want to because of this.

Thank you very much

RIP Salome 🕊️❤️
I love you❤️