Devon Sampson

My life summed up in one word: Anthropomorphized judo-chop. Questions?

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

@megashaun Best time to eat snacky-cakes was 20 years ago. Second best time is now.

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

@wiIdemount @LauraBaileyVO Is this art? Yes, yes it is.

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

@CriticalRole @Marisha_Ray I love her new character!

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

@ThatNerdGurl_ Ask them questions about what they just said?

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

Has anyone tried listening to #DONDA and #CertifiedLoverBoy simultaneously to see what happens? Like “Dark Side of the Moon” and “The Wizard of Oz?”

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

@NBAonTNT Chuck breaking rules cuz of a snake

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

Everyone worried that 2021 translates to 2020 won, wait until you find out that 2022 is 2020 too!

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

Just saw an IMAX movie in an empty theatre for $5. Whole theatre to myself. $5. #pandemic

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

The #election comes down to #Nevada! 8,000 votes! What happens in #vegas isn’t staying there long! @StormyDaniels let us know how it goes!

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

One day, the Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi fell asleep and dreamt that he was a butterfly. Upon awakening, he did not know whether he really was a man who had dreamed he was a butterfly or whether he was a butterfly now dreaming he was a man.

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

“You don’t have to.”

But I want to.

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

What ever happened to acid rain?

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

@NBAonTNT @SHAQ “put that foot on the neck” seemed like a poor choice of words though.

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

@amazonca can send me a whole fucking bathroom set in 4 hours but it takes an entire month for a #blm #icantbreathe mask to ship. Bullshit.

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

Them: “But masks are uncomfortable.”

Me, sweating into my fabric mask for 8 hours a day at work:

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

Her: where should our first date be?
Me:

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

Social distancing at the strip club should be interesting...

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

When something makes a lot of sense, it makes dollars.

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

#Covid_19 has given the world a guideline on how to properly compensate workers. “Essential workers” being paid an hourly minimum wage needs to stop! #Nurses should be paid more than athletes! This message needs to be spread now more than ever!

[Devon Sampson @DevonLSampson]

Along with washing your hands, keep your nails short and avoid wearing rings/watches/bracelets. Surprised this isn’t mentioned more! #coronavirus #COVID19