The Devils Diary

Married with 2 year old,had affair and got her pregnant. Currently waiting to see if she’s going to have it. This my way of telling my story and how it unfolds.

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

I should know the decisions this week. Been the worst 2 weeks of my life and I’m not confident it’s going to get better. #thedevildiarys #thedecision #thewait #abortion #yesorno

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

Terrible nights sleep. Kept thinking about how I’m going to tell my wife. How will she react. Forcing breakfast down so I have some energy to get through the day. #thedevilsdiary #thestress #nosleep

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

Sleeping and eating have become limited due the stress. Normally wake up during the night and don’t fall back asleep. Covered in sweat beside my wife who is oblivious to the monster laying beside her. #thedevildiarys #stress #livingalie #hopingforsleep

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

Down time = worry time. All I think about is what I’m going to do. How much I’m going to miss my child, wife, home, current life. How hated I’m going to be and how I can be the best dad I can be. #thedevilsdiary #regret #hopingeverythingwillbeok

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

The Devil at his best - wishing for an abortion! #thedevilsdiary #impureevil #theguiltiskillingme

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

Been looking a places to stay, 2 bed for me & the kid or 3 and move in with “the other woman”. Only thing that jumps out is the cost. #thedevildiarys #preparingforbadnews

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

Kids moving to a big girl bed soon so was round at the mother in laws building the one at hers. Feels like I’m getting the wee jobs done before I’m off. #thedevilsdiary #thewaitinggame #fakinglife

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

Spoke to the “other woman” yesterday, said she’s leaning towards having it.Felt crushed.Wish there was something I could do.Both shed a few tears as she doesn’t want to ruin my life.Said there’s still a chance though so I’m holding onto that. #thedevildiarys #thedecision #worried

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

Bairn came through to our bed this morning and started rolling about and playing. Love the smile and laugh. Watched thinking this won’t happen again. #thedevildiarys #thewait #missthelittlethings

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

Mrs making plans for the future, booking gigs looking at holidays. I’m nodding hoping everything will be ok. Could all be gone when the decision comes through. She’ll be heartbroken and the worry is eating away at me. #thedevildiarys #thedecision #livingwithguilt

[The Devils Diary @DiaryDevils]

As bio stats, currently waiting to see if my life is going to change forever. She has it, I loose my wife, house, friends and precious time with my child. She doesn’t she feels like shit and I go back to my life. #thedevildiarys #thewait #biggestdicisionofmylife #nervous