The Dick Critic

I made this account while drunk. Send me your dick pics, I review them. Tell me if you want them to be anonymous. 18+ obvs. She/her.

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

Last night, I shared a bottle of wine with a friend and joked about setting up a Twitter account to receive and critique dick pics. This morning, that account seems to exist and is open on my laptop, so I guess send me your dick pics?

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

I know this is out of character, but maybe some things are better than cock.
Rating: 😍

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

@brennasparksxxx This is why I never post pics of myself.

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

Another weapon to deal with. I'm really hoping there is a sword fight in my future.
Pic: @silk081096
Rating: ⚔️

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

Guys replying to western pornstars: Gross, kind of sad and desperate-sounding

Guys replying to Japanese pornstars: Polite, respectful, weirdly encouraging

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

You know how much I love a solid mushroom top, and this one looks juicy af. Just want to suck it.
Pic: @Charlesb1122
Rating: 🍄

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

@theunkownD Ask and you shall receive. This update goes to show how the awkward young cock grows into something more than worthy of attention.
Pic: @theunkownD
Rating: 🍆

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

I don't get many "on the flop", so to speak. It does make me wonder how it changes as it grows. Would love to see...
Pic: @theunkownD
Rating: 🍌

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

This may genuine be the most appealing cock I've been sent so far. This is the kind of thing I dream about.
Pic: Anon
Rating: 😍

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

This is one thick rod. Make sure the lube is handy.
Pic: Anon
Rating: 🥫

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

That's a nice hunk of meat. The guy it's attached to looks okay, too.
Pic: @Blanc_intense
Rating: 🍖

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

I love a defined head. There's something about that ridge that makes me want to get my tongue all over it.
Pic: Anon
Rating: 🍄

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

A more distant shot than I'm used to. I can't help but notice how well someone could fit kneeling in front of it...
Pic: Anon
Rating: 🥒

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

@reflaid Is that a local まつり?

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

So pale and delicate. Makes me really want to break it in.
Pic: Anon
Rating: 🥒

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

Nice bit of dessert. Could use a dollop of cream.
Pic: @kingkrabbr
Rating: 🍦

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

I'm having a great morning. All these beautiful pieces of meat are not making me wish I wasn't alone right now at all.
Pic: @gerpol666
Rating: 🍆

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

The monsters keep coming. I feel like I'm running and screaming through Tokyo right now. Don't mind if I don't get away, though.
Pic: @horny1710
Rating: 🗼

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

I woke up to this, shocked, terrified, and very aroused. Breakfast is going to have to be a whole thing.
Pic: @Blacks52136576
Rating: 🐉

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

Just... luscious.
Pic: Anon
Rating: 🍆

[The Dick Critic @Dick_Critic_]

@PhatCockTed 🤤