Divorced Dad💦

Y'all like My name is earl?
🖤
father of none
2nd: @zerocaljt

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

Babe, why would I go to therapy? When your "Therapist" already tells you what's wrong with me?

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

@FKAGEORGEY Been there before

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

@lastnamemaker Toke up king

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

FUCK ICE

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

I'm through with standing in line to clubs I'll never get in

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

Loaded fries are always better as a thought than a reality

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

Personally, I, as a white man, am sorry about the whole trail of tears thing. That was not cool.

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

White savior? Idk what my skin color has to deal with me saving you, but thank you.

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

Going to Subway on opposite day and ordering a Dom

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

Made a typo in Google Maps and ended up at the Rude Beach. They were surprisingly really understanding about the mix-up

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

Uh yeah? I sure hope there isn't

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

@blumenfeld Whens the last time you had a mcnugget?

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

I guess free speech is ilegal

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

Does OSHA know you built this city on Rock & Roll?!

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

I put the mental in sentimental

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

Courtney Love didnt kill Kurt. Courtney Hate DID!

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

If I was the president? I'd release the list... and put our names next to each other with hearts 😘

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

Surprisingly, Disc Golf is oppressively heterosexual

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

Not now liberal, I'm too busy imagining scenarios in which Pedro Pascal caresses my wife

[Divorced Dad💦 @Divorced_dadjt]

R.i.p toby keith you wouldve loved shilling out for israel