Sam Needleman

I am retired paramedic, I am married with children. I am into almost anything Sci-fi or fantasy related.

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

Everyone should have a drag queen level of self-confidence... 📷

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

It could be worse.
What if sex were fattening? 😈

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news, but I'm pretty excited.😈

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

I think instead of “LOL,”
I’m going with “SALTS”
(smiled a little, then stopped).
It’s more truthful!! 😈

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

I'm gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty"... 📷

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

Doing a whole lot of nothing and doing a great job at it... 😈

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

I got arrested today for feeding some homeless guys on the street, and to top it all off, the cops broke my potato gun... 📷

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

Have a great 4th of July, but remember, don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics... 😈🇺🇸 🚑

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

I think, therefore, I can't get anything done... 📷

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

Warning!!!
Some of my statuses are for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken seriously... 😈

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

I'm just keepin' it real,
one smart-ass comment at a time.
Oh, and you're welcome... 📷

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

If a World Cup match is still tied after penalty kicks,
They move on to the swimsuit competition... 😈

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

Stalking is a harsh word.
I prefer silent observation... 😈

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

It's a beautiful day,
I think I'll skip my meds and stir things up a bit... 📷

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

Just made beer-battered fish for dinner. Not sure how smashing it with a can of beer improves the taste... 😈

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

I finally found a diet plan that works.
It’s called “The Cost of Food”... 📷

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

I know a guy who opened a bar for men with erectile dysfunction.
It was a total flop.
Nobody came... 📷

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

At any given time, my wallet is worth more than its contents... 😈

[Sam Needleman @Dmedicus]

You know that feeling when you get a brilliant idea?
Yeah, me neither... 📷