Dylan

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana

[Baldwin Wallace Athletics @bwathletics]

Congratulations to Coach DeAngelis of @BWUBaseball being tabbed as the @ABCA1945 NCAA Division III National Assistant Coach of the Year!!👏👏 https://t.co/kbprZKCcx2

[Dylan @DNeets22]

Avril Lavigne is on stage. Absolutely electric. For a brief moment in time, we’re all sk8r boi’s

[Dylan @DNeets22]

I’ll put money down that at least two of them got Freaky Friday’d

[Dylan @DNeets22]

[A bulletin board flattens young Stanley while he sleeps]

His parents:

[BW Baseball @BWUBaseball]

WE ARE DANCING OUR WAY TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!
#BWBoys #d3b

[Dylan @DNeets22]

The couple next to me on my flight was so ecstatic about the mandate being lifted that they just sneezed into each other’s mouths over and over again. The entire flight. They offered me one, but I politely declined

[Dylan @DNeets22]

Amount of eggs I hid for the Easter egg hunt: 0

Amount of people looking for the Easter eggs I hid in the Easter egg hunt: Well over 15

[Alec Palmer @alecpalmer__]

There’s only one correct condiment for scrambled eggs & it’s ketchup 🤷‍♂️

[Dylan @DNeets22]

People saying “Will Smith assaulted Chris Rock” need to relax. A man is supposed to defend the honor of his woman. No matter what. That’s why my wife’s boyfriend NEVER lets anyone disrespect her

[Dylan @DNeets22]

It took me all the way until halftime to realize that was Sean Payton coaching and not Kevin James

[Dylan @DNeets22]

Me in the bathroom after a shower

[Wonder of Science @wonderofscience]

Baby elephants don't learn to control their trunks until they’re about a year old.

[Dylan @DNeets22]

@imakeit_rame I hope you step in dog shit today

[Dylan @DNeets22]

Turns out it was in fact a good day to be a pair of pants

[Dylan @DNeets22]

Bad day to be a pair of pants

[Dylan @DNeets22]

Bad day to be a pair of pants

[Dylan @DNeets22]

Only the first half and I already need a new pair of pants #Browns

[Dylan @DNeets22]

$50 to anyone who can guess what Kyle is trying to explain to us

[Dylan @DNeets22]

@MattKoskinen Pick a lane

[Spencer George @spencergeorge14]

I am officially an islanders fan!!! @JohnMRaines @tloeff_12 @DNeets22 @CJGriffin21 @aMiner25

[Dylan @DNeets22]

When I was alone, isolated, feeling lost. I thought a trip to Arby's might give me some courage, but no dice. Then, I hit Popeye's, Del Taco. 14,000 calories later, I found myself down at Subway... powering through a 12 inch veggie on whole wheat babbling to a cut-out of Jared

[Guardian US @GuardianUS]

Gwyneth Paltrow broke down and ate bread during quarantine. What was your lowest point? https://t.co/ZoEBq6IsXG

[Dylan @DNeets22]

@alecpalmer__ I give it two more days until you start showing alligator-like symptoms and the transformation begins

[Dylan @DNeets22]

saippuakivikauppias