Grond

wizard, doctor, and husband in that order. Profound knowledge of all artifacts (especially ancient). Veteran of every war

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

Using astral projection to spy on my wife

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

The Hibachi chef just emasculated me in front of my wife and close friends

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

I been playing so much resident evil that I forgot about freaking President Evil! Holy smokes

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

There's an orc in my backyard

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

@CelebrityAngel Those stacked washer and dryer combos are neat until the door hits you in the head while you're loading your shit!!

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

Hold your monkeys close today...tomorrow is not promised

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

Statement from friend of Jane Goodall: “Ee ee ooh ooh ah!”

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

God is real and Muhammad is his prophet!

[Norm Macdonald @normmacdonald]

a man is a coin, no obverse without reverse. If you like, remember Jeff Epstein as monster, destroying lives with a wicked nonchalance. But, for me , I will remember him as the man who killed Jeff Epstein.

[mr so damn lovely and cool @bartsfate]

they killed peepee garbanzo in cold blood. they ran up and cleaved peepee garbanzo in twain with ancient steel on national television

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

Who is Colby Jack

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

It's honestly so cute when a tattoo artist posts their flash

They're like "Do you like my pictures? 🥺 Does anyone want any of these??" 😔

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

Women be collecting jars

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

Me when I um. This is basically me when I - uh. This is a bear

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

Welcome to the Satanic Temple. First a couple of ground rules:

1. Don't ever be mean to anyone
2. No swearing
3. Have fun!

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

At the gym loudly saying "Ouch!!!" everytime I do a preacher curl

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

Trying to figure out which Death Grips song is most appropriate for a wedding

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

Hey man wanna see a cool trick?

(I try to perch my cat on my shoulder but he starts freaking the hell out and biting me)

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

@CelebrityAngel Sounds like you have an opportunity to look really cool in the family photo

[Grond @DoctorGrond]

You never could make Mr. Bean nowadays. The stunts he's pulled...would never fly in today's climate