Cadet Bone Spurs

Oh, I think you know what I'm into. #greatness #hugeness #authoritarianism #russianstudies #familybonding
(My friends call me товарищ or Herr Drumpfenscheisser)

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

I'd rather be golfing. Unless I am golfing right now, and there's a good chance that I am.

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

@matthewamiller @MalcolmNance No medal for you!

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

WTF am I talking about? #SOTU

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

SURPRISE! YOU *ARE* THE FATHER! #SOTU

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

For my next act, I will wheel out a wounded soldier holding an abandoned puppy whose puppy mom was brutally and cruelly and also very severely held hostage by a scary non white person. #SOTU

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

I will cure all the diseases! No more Corona virus! No more Heineken virus either! #SOTU

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

I shall live tweet my #SOTU address tonight!

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

@realDonaldTrump Right? When you're President, THEY LET YOU DO IT!

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

@realDonaldTrump Yes, that is what I, Captain Bone Spurs, said!

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

I'm not going to tell you gory details, but here is a long meandering tirade full of gory details. Beautiful gory details involving strong things, handsome men, a beautiful dog, and a cowardly guy who died like a dog. I like dogs, but also I hate dogs. Beautiful, whimpering dogs.

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

K-9s. I call them dogs. Tall man. Very handsome. I wrote a book. A great book. Many fighters. Blasted their way in. No one got hurt. We had a robot. He had on a suicide vest. Very powerful vest. Sir, the robot is there. Sir, we have many body parts. These vests are brutal.

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

@JebBush Glad you have your forking priorities straight, Jeb!

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

It sure is a hell of a reach, the Dems and their rush to #impeach. My calls are all PERFECT from beginning to end! Just do what I want and the aid we will send! When I say it out loud, or in an e-mail... it's clear that our foreign policy is now up for sale! #OpenForBusiness

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

@Strandjunker Sorry, but #WeFellInLove.

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

Old Mitt Romney is such a joke. He only knows how to choke, choke, choke. So what if he has nice thick hair, that he doesn't have to comb-over from here to there? And a car elevator, and a wife and kids who care. HE'S NOT BETTER THAN ME! CAN'T YOU SEE? No really- he's not. Is he?

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

@DearAuntCrabby YES I AM!! THE MORE I TALK, THE STABLER AND GENIUSER I GET!

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

I hereby order that a big, beautiful #moot should be built around me, to protect me from the mean hoaxers and treasoners. Also, the moot shall be filled with hamberders.

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

I HAVE DONE MORE damage THAN ANY OTHER PRESIDENT IN HISTORY!

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

Look at me! I'm a big boy! I can say #QuidProQuo!

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

@tribelaw FAKE FAKE FAKE! I don't even use emoluments! My skin is naturally soft and moist!

[Cadet Bone Spurs @DonnieBoneSpurs]

@TheLeadCNN @jaketapper @jimsciutto NO NEED! I just ask my buddies Vlad and Kim what they're up to and they tell me the truth! EASY PEASY! #FinePeople