Cartman

Post-millennial. Gamer. Activist. I guess you could say I’m the complete package. (Parody account - not affiliated with South Park.)

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

ic twitter
- tweets = tweets, duh.
- in-person interactions = narrative style
• fourth grader
• cw: slurs, casual racism/homophobia, basically what you’d expect

retweet this so all your followers can laugh about how somebody RPs eric cartman on twitter

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@SuperBFChrist Joseph? Because he IS a cuck, we’ve been over this.

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@BothMumAndDad “Thaaaaanks Mooooom.” He waddled to the couch and hopped up to his usual spot, switching the TV onto some cartoons.

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@BothMumAndDad Mooooooom!

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@BothMumAndDad Cartman gave a weak, sickly smile. “Tea with extra-extra honey for your honey?”

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@BothMumAndDad Mooooooom, can I skip school today? I’m sick.... *cough cough*

[South Park @SouthPark]

#SouthPark22

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

I hate all of you, just FYI.

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

When you’re hungry but Mom says “you’ve already had a snack”

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@ComeOnSatan Okay but how much?

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

.@Disney If you need anything taken care of this election cycle, you know who to call.

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@thesweeteric I know. I’m such a kind person.

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

Everybody, make sure your parents give Kenny a little extra candy. This is gonna have to feed his family until Thanksgiving.

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@HeroMysterion But I’m so BORED.

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@HeroMysterion I hate you, Kenny. And that’s all that matters.

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@HeroMysterion People on welfare are so fucking lazy. God!

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@HeroMysterion If they aren’t now, they will be tomorrow when they still don’t have any cell service, dammit!

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@HeroMysterion I don’t have any cell service, that’s how! God!

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@HeroMysterion I’m mad for a lot of reasons, Kenny!

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@HeroMysterion Would have been better without you, cock-munch!

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@HeroMysterion Yeah. Because you’re a dick.

[Cartman @DontDoItEric]

@HeroMysterion Suck my balls, Kenny.