Doug Howard

I'm Doug. I am the bartender of the Poconos. If you don't know, ask. My wisdom is for free. My drinks are strong, tasty & not for free. I follow the party!

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

“Doug, I’m OCD & ADHD.”

“Well, I’m STD, so pay attention!”

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

You’ve gotta roll the dice. Sometimes you get misted.

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

Remember, remember, the Easter Bunny Massacre.

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

Trust me. I know tranny. #TrannyTractor

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

Listen. This is Lake Harmony, not eHarmony.

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

I can carpet Rhode Island with the amount of long sleeve black shirts I own.

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

I have some Ramen noodles at my house. #HappyEnding

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

There hasn’t been a good rape around here in a while.

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

So... you squat 405?

Well, 405 squats on me.

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

@MbSmalls3 Slow your roll.

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

Jim will be there with the c-Pap on huffing and muffing and chucking. #LPrime

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

So you don’t want me to fuck your wife???

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

I’m not a swapper.

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

Were they related?

Yeah, through the asshole.

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

The cape was on. He had to be a hero. #superman

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

They're gazing eyes at each other.
#anniversary #nosilverware

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

No assets. #NoAssets

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

Lotta cousins down here. #MauchChunk
#abacus

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

How much is in a pound of boneless wings?

Um, 16 oz.

[Doug Howard @DougDaBartender]

Where is there snow around here?

Um, on the mountain.
#May28