Dougie Mars

bio

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Coke designed a bottle that you can only open by buying another coke.... Why is that so cool?

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

"It's what we all are. Homogenous. Yogurt."

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Every time I see an old person with a limb in a cast or a sling, I have to assume they slipped in the shower

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Don't think you need to explain to me how to put a sandwich in a box.. Like I'm new please show me how to use a spatula.

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Lingerer

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Apologies are worthless if they yield no change

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

"All that matters is that you saw it"

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Hahahahahahaha "Brothers"

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

And you can run and tell that, HOMEBOY😒

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Starkville @TacoBell= inconsistent, lazy, Did I mention rude? Don't think I could count the # o times they've screwed up orders on my digits

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Zachary Quinto is so good at acting as the twisted character.

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better better bettah bettah WAAAAAAH

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Thinking about how bored you are only makes it worse

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

I guess tomorrow is two holidays..

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

@srednasetan damn shoulda hmu cuz

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Hell yeah, I'm a dick, girl. A-ddic-ted to you.

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

-Doug hypocritically tweeted from his iPhone

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

The smart phone and social media have turned the world into devoid, numb teenagers blankly staring through portals they hold in their hands.

[Dougie Mars @DougieLM]

Christians have two movies out right now and can't stop bitching about how inaccurate they are