DP Cummerbund

Semi-professional librarian. Dread Pirate.

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@magachrchpastr If nobody has ever frocked you, maybe you should just go frock yourself

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

OMG who did he stab

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@RobertPicardo @AZ_Brittney "No, she's corrupt! And NBC is corrupt! And CBS, and ABC, and CNN are all corrupt too! The only way to get the REAL news is to read Truth Social on your $600 gold-plated Trump phone!"
And people thought Jim Jones's Kool-Aid was ridiculous...

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@TheAuthorGuy Last week: "The Lincoln Reflecting Pool"
This week: Our Pool"
Next week: "The Trump-Lincoln Reflecting Pool"

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@TheAuthorGuy He's also factually wrong about the skyscrapers. The Willis tower is taller than the Empire State Building.

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@JoJoFromJerz @WhiteHouse THAT'S WHY IT WILL ALL WORK OUT IN THE END

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@Provokethoughtz That's not true, they also buy them video games

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@JoJoFromJerz @FordFischer I hope they take their display to Durham, NC.
https://t.co/LtPLe8l20X

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@3YearLetterman @khamenei_ir @funeralinsider The Straight of Hormel? Coach, normally you're a real ham, but that joke was a turkey

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@3YearLetterman My favorite part of this story is the talent agent who is trying to recruit musicians for Trump's concert is named... Jeff Epstein.

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@ThatEricAlper English food is entirely based on the idea "hey, let's stuff this one thing inside another thing. Maybe that will make it taste better."

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@JamieBonkiewicz It would be really terrible if June 14th (aka Trump's birthday) officially became Call Donald Trump a Pedophile Day

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@magachrchpastr @dowis_mark "The doctors said this is right where my problem is"

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

In the end we were just his latest casino and whatnot.

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

To my peeps, and my Brown and LGBTQ friends. Never forget that your light was so damn bright they handed the world to the first asshole who promised to dim it.

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@TheAuthorGuy Hey, remember back in January when we were going to invade Greenland? But then we got a concept of a framework of a plan for a deal, and have heard absolutely NOTHING about it since then?

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@magachrchpastr All the DNA matches and there are no dental records to check.

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@theliamnissan @JDVance You forgot the word "also".

As in "Nixon was also a complete asshole."

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@AtheistPhoenix Go try to look up "demon possession" in the DSM-5. I'll wait.

[DP Cummerbund @DPCummerbund]

@magachrchpastr @murderering Pastor, while your vacation home looks amazing, I don't see a giant golden statue of yourself in that photo. If you really follow the Bible, you'll get that fixed ASAP.