AbunNafees

Muslim • Medic (DVM, ABU Zaria) • EbiraTao 🇳🇬

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

Even though we want the best and strive for excellence, it's delusional to expect complete happiness in this world, ultimate comfort can only be obtained in Jannah.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

I am a person you don't need to impress. If you live in the worst ghettos, i will still be good with you. Your background won't limit our relationship provided you ain't faking it. I got you, if you got me.

[HalālPair @halal_pair]

Haram pre-marital relationships steal the joy of marriage.

I met a random American non-Muslim lady once at a kids' event, and we struck up conversation. She was nice and very personable and friendly, so we stood there chatting pleasantly for a little while.

In the course of our conversation, I asked her, "So do you have any kids?"

"No," she said. "I actually just got married though. Recently. Like, two months ago."

"Wow, that's great!" I responded enthusiastically. "So you're basically a newlywed! That's wonderful-- congratulations!!"

She smiled wistfully at my obvious enthusiastic happiness for her, looked somewhat embarrassed, and said abashedly, "Well, we dated for eight years, so...Yeah."

She shrugged.

The conversation flowed to other topics. The brief interaction ended. We parted ways.

But my mind went back to her sentence, and the emotion accompanying it, and what it represented.

Marriage is usually a big milestone in a person's life.

Typically, such a milestone is met with excitement and happiness. It elicits strong feelings of anticipation, joy, even giddiness at times. The novelty, the newness, the uniqueness of the relationship between husband and wife sets it apart from other human relationships, whether familial or friendship.

Except-- with dating.

Dating destroys all that.

Dating destroys everything about marriage: the novelty is gone. How can there be any novelty or newness when being in a relationship with the opposite gender isn't new to you? The excitement is gone; this isn't your first rodeo. The joy, the anticipation, the giddiness: all seep out of you slowly like water from a spilled cup, after years of dating take their toll on you.

Both casual and "serious" dating, by the way.

Some people like to claim that yeah, okay, casual sex and random hookups are bad, but "serious dating" is good!

Nah.

Any type of illicit sexual contact outside of marriage, ie. fornication (zina, زنا) is bad.

This girl I was talking to had spent EIGHT YEARS dating her boyfriend who would later become her husband.

She had been "seriously dating" him.

It wasn't just a string of whatever hookups or one-night stands with different guys that stole her joy and excitement at being married.

Her joy and excitement at being married were stolen by her seriously dating the same guy for eight years before they got married.

Marriage basically meant nothing at that point.

It wasn't a major change.

It wasn't a big step.

It wasn't a radical move.

They'd already been dating for years, sleeping together for years, living together for years. They'd gone out to dinner and a movie for years, went on double dates with other couples, gushed to friends in the heady initial stages of the relationship, blushed about the budding romance at the beginning.

They'd already done everything.

By the eighth year of a relationship, things have mostly grown boring. Gone a bit stale. Become a little bit predictable.

This is normal.

But marriage at this point isn't fun or exciting or life-changing.

The "before" and the "after" look pretty much the same, except for a bunch of wedding costs.

When people engage in pre-marital sex with different people or even WITH THE SAME PERSON THEY END UP MARRYING, they sabotage their own marriage.

Haram pre-marital relationships steal so much from marriage.

There is infinite wisdom in the Islamic model of pre-marital chastity, the process of searching for a spouse, and marriage.

We Muslims are excited to get married, nervous, happy, blushing. It elicits strong reactions and a ton of emotion. We anticipate marriage, and celebrate it when it comes. It means something to us. It is wholly new, a novel and thrilling experience, to be paired with someone of the opposite gender. Marriage is a series of firsts for us: first touch, first time gazing at someone without lowering the gaze, first flirtatious smile, first time living with a guy/ girl, first date, first time holding hands while walking, first fight, first makeup, first everything.

So we are not cavalier about marriage. It's a very big deal.

But to someone who's already been doing all those things for almost a decade like the girl I was talking to, when marriage finally occurs it's not a big deal.

That's why I was so excited for her and she was so nonchalant about it herself.

Alhamdulillah for Islam.

May Allah safeguard our youth from pre-marital relationships and protect us all from doing anything that sabotages a healthy marriage. Ameen.

Umm Khalid

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@official_Gegeh He created us to worship Him alone.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@jibreelKhalil @ATBU_Connect Mtswwwww

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@official_Gegeh To worship Him alone.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

You will save yourself from alot of stress if you know that some people don't want to understand you. They just want to be right.

You don't heal by winning arguement with such people, you heal by outgrowing the need to explain yourself.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@MMTFinance Okay.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

Working 9–5 is challenging. Starting or remaining in business is challenging.

Don't be deceived. This life is not designed to give you complete peace and freedom! At the end of the day, you must choose your challenge.

There is no true rest in this life, know this & know peace.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

The action of others should not judge your actions. Do the right!

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@Ihunanya_chi You don't need lies & fake stories to help spread the gospel. If it's indeed true, people will accept it effortlessly.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@Ihunanya_chi Sister, you don't need to fake these things to get people into accepting Christianity. Just gonna be wasted efforts. So, rest.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@Ihunanya_chi What an acting! 😂
Grammys award winner! 😂

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@BillionAireSon E be like kinto do you bad thing that you had to repeat it twice. 😂

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@halal_pair Immodest.
Social media freak.
Doesn't see covering herself from head to toe as an obligation.
Sees herself equal to a man in capabilities and responsibilities.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@aiishadahir "Then where are you going to?"

[Talibah @Taalibah_2]

Sincere love follows the Shariah, not hidden chats.

May Allah keep us safe from deception.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@MMTFinance Keep building

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@DanielRegha I trust you will now agree with me now that from the Islamic perspective, that looks hypocritical.

I don't eat Xmas food. But then, i eat food made by my Christian friends.

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@DanielRegha This is a controversial issue in Islam sir.

On a general note. Your food as Christians has been made lawful and permissible for us likewise is our food to yours. Q5:5

But then, in the context of faith...

[AbunNafees @Dr_Adavize0]

@DanielRegha the birth of God, or the birth of the son of God totally negates our faith. Q112: 1-4, Q19: 88-93

Hence, it is assumed that eating your food on that day for that particular sense and purpose is as though we are in support of your faith about God's divinity.