second how i see my art: one of the top points why i was/am feeling down when it comes to art, is me and how i see my art... this is something that is hard to explain how i feel and so, so don't get me wrong, i don't want to sound selfish or anything with this... it's more the opposite about love others art to much. the problem is me and how i feel when i see my art... many people like my art and asked already again if i can draw something for them (that's why i do this post now to talk about things). i really appreciate it and know i do good art for them to enjoy but at the same time within myself i struggle so hard with thoughts that are... maybe a stupid reason for you to see why i feel that way but it's about that i see so many great artists around here and i have some idols i look up to... and then i start to compare myself to the artists i love here so much... where i can't act normal anymore because i'm getting to hyper loved for their great works... that's probably the problem and reason what has destroyed me why i was taking the break at first point... because i love their art so much and appreciate every work they do like a clumsy fan, i lost the focus and love to how i do my own art... instead of seing my own art and say to myself "hey, you did great!"... my thoughts hiting more hard like "the artist idols you look up to, shine so bright with their great work, you will never be a part like them, no matter how hard you try and put effort into your art... no matter how hard you try to find your own way to shine with an own unique artstyle and walk on your way and at the same time with them, you can't do as good on your way like they do on theirs." i know this sounds stupid or selfish or maybe not understandable how i mean it but to make it short: by putting my artist idols so high because i love their work so much, i stopped seing the good things in my own stuff and pulled myself down, feeling not good enough as artist because i want to make others as happy with my art and reaching people as my idols do... and then i started to get thoughts that no matter what i do and try or how much effort i want to put in my art, i can't keep up with the people i look up to so hard... in the end those feelings and thoughts hurting me so hard that i've lost my whole love, motivation and mood for doing art... like i said, i don't want to sound selfish, i just appreciate/love my idols art so much, that i've stopped seing the good things in mine... that is the top reason why i take/took the break from art and being online, because everytime i see their great masterpieces, my inner voice is hurting me by putting myself down about not doing as good as i want to. yes i know it's all practice and my idols are normal humans too who learned it by time... but for me i started to love their art so much, that it is hurting me and i'm not seing the logic things anymore like with enough practice i can be as good too. so i was the past months away to not see their art and avoid that way, that my bad thoughts are hurting me... but that's not a solution for my problems with the artist depression and how i feel about my art... i have to solve this otherwise but it will take time and i have to do it step by step, to feel love for my own art and can draw again but at the same time feel the love for their great arts that inspire me. just rn i'm busy with the told kawaii room project, and can't take my time for art and become a better artist with love for my own stuff... i will come back slowly step by step and take already my time to get more talk-active again at first, but artworks won't be coming for now, at least not until I finish the major renovations of the room. i hope you can understand at least a bit now what is going on the past months and how i feel with me, my art and being an artist. i still love all the arts that i see and appreciate every masterpiece of my idols, i just want to get better myself and this needs time...
Дилюк для моей ирл собутыльницы.
В геншине все персонажи с такими детализированными одеждами, так что нарисовать его было тем ещё квестом, ещё и при том, что у меня не было возможности крутить модельку ':D
#genshinimpact#genshin#Genshinfanart#fanart#digitalart#diluc
@sr_dosxx Thanks! To be honest, I'm not a fan if russian films at all, I just love Bubble comics and all things they do, so because of it I watched Major Grom and I love it :')