Gerry Fixit MD

I’m Gerry and I can Fix it

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Justin Jefferson
Justin Jefferson has grunge hip, and the ball reactivated it. He’s gonna to be running on a tilt for the rest of the night like a zombie so he may have a hard time being #touchdownready #NFLNEWS #Gerryfixit

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Gerry has been #slacking on the injury updates. I will stay on top of it to make sure I can notify who is #touchdown ready #NFLNEWS #GERRYWILLFIXIT

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Tried to warn the people. Mike is not touchdown ready he fell down 4 stairs. Now he is like out for a few weeks #NFLNews #49ers #MNF #Gerrytriedtofixit

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Mike Evans
Mike Evans was at the #Gerryparty on Saturday and got into my #gerrysliders and my top shelf #whiskey and found himself injured in his travels to the toilet. Fell right down the stairs and reaggravated ribs. I feel terrible. #Nottouchdownready #NFLnews #49ers

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Terry McLaurin
Terry McLaurin was taken out by a gold miner. If you zoom on the footage, you can see a little gold miner twisting his foot as he plants, causing the leg catastrophe. 49ers, playing with the dark arts #Gerryfixit #NFLNews #MNF #49ers #commanders

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Mike Evans
Mike Evans was at the #Gerryparty on Saturday and got into my #gerrysliders and my top shelf #whiskey and found himself injured in his travels to the toilet. Fell right down the stairs and reaggravated ribs. I feel terrible. #Nottouchdownready #NFLnews #49ers

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

TJ Watt
TJ Watt will be paying homage to Pittsburgh affiliate, the Pittsburgh Pirates, by wearing an eye patch. My#NFLNews source is telling me he has been looking for any reason to dress like a pirate, and he found his today. TJ Watt, sack em ready.
#Steelers #NFL2026

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Tyquan Thornton
Tyquan Thornton has compass foot. The magnetic field of the end zone caused his foot to face towards the end zone, ending in a gruesome injury for the Sunday standout. This is a curse he will never be rid of #Gerryfixedit #NFLNews #Chiefs

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Kyle Juczsyk
Kyle is a smart Harvard boy, and I’m told he will diagnose and operate on himself if needed. No further information at this time #Gerryhelped #49ers #NFLNews

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Ladd McConkey
Ladd McConkey has a “foot injury” but in reality it is just funky nail. He was wearing his right cleat on his left foot, the root cause of the funky nail. I prescribe Ladd to double check his cleats next time so he can be touchdown ready #Gerryfixedit

[Matt Schultz @mschultz555]

@DrGerryFixit Hey Gerry what happened to Ladd Mcconkey

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Saquon Barkley
Legs so big they squeeezed his hamstring like a freshly squeezed lemonade, except for making a delicious refreshing beverage it causes a large man pain and makes him not touchdown ready. Saquon , not fixed yet. #Eagles #NFLNews #Gerryfixit

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Saquon Barkley hurt.

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Mack Hollins
Excuse me for the unprofessional terminology, but if that fuckin moron wore shoes he’d be fine. I think he’s #fakingit and has already been fixed. But what do I know I just #fixit #Gerryfixedit

[Patriots Communications @PatriotsComms]

.@Patriots Injury Update: WR Mack Hollins has a calf injury and is questionable to return.

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Brock Bowers
Poor guy ALSO had some of that goopy stir fry last night. He is in phase 1, just how Jamar started. Crazy night with those guys but man was that stir fry GOOP. Hopefully no headache for Brock, he is confirmed Touchdown Ready #Gerryfixedit ✅

[Underdog NFL @UnderdogNFL]

Brock Bowers (illness) added to injury report but has no game status for Week 4, per @PaulHGutierrez.

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Jamar chase
Jamar does not have a c word. He got into my roommates stir fry last night and has the #runs so bad his heads aching. Once runs are gone, Jamar back. I prescribe no more stir fry and Jamar will be touchdown ready #Gerryfixedit ✅

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

WR Ja’Marr Chase is out due to a concussion.

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

#gerryfixedit

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Chris Hanson: child protector or child predator? #whaaaat #mindblown #chrishanson

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Bryce Underwood
Bryce has a condition today that was causing heavy blood flow to his penis throughout the game against Minnesota today, making it difficult to throw. As long as he has no erection,Bryce will be OK
#Bryceunderwood #Goblue #Michigan

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Kirk Herbstreit dog update
He kicked his dog. His dog is ok and has recovered but sources close to Kirk have confirmed that he kicked his dog like James Rodriguez in the World Cup, top bins. Kirk, not as nice of a guy as he appears on TV #Kirkherbstreit #Dog #CollegeGameday

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Mike Evans
Old man Mike Evans broke his collarbone definitely. He’s so freakin old his bones are made of ticonderogas so it just snapped on his collarbone and he broke it #Gerryfixedit 49ers

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Jaxson Dart
I’ve seen enough of these Jaxson has crapped his pants, and may have torn his ACL+MCL in the process. In the doctor world we call that soup knee #GerryFixit

[ESPN @espn]

Jaxson Dart heads to the locker room after an apparent left leg injury.

[Gerry Fixit MD @DrGerryFixit]

Malik Nabers
It is clear to me Malik had a bad suppa and is in some tummy discomfort. I would prescribe one big dumpa and he should be touchdown ready #GerryFixit