DrunjAF

No one normal would say this shit.

[DrunjAF @DrunjAF]

My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger.

So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex's car.

[gⓗⓓ @GingerHotDish]

When I leave this place, it won’t be because it changed ownership… it will be because a serial killer finally found me worthy.

[Tater 🍁🐾 @TrueTorontoGirl]

When I tilt my head and twirl my hair I'm thinking about stuffing you into a woodchipper.

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

There's no socket wrench set that doesn't open with the sockets spilling out everywhere

[DrunjAF @DrunjAF]

@xLiserx Try The Gathering Place?

[The Eh Factor 🇨🇦 @AngeLaBambaaaa]

The coronavirus vaccine doesn’t scare me. I’ve willingly put more toxic things in my body.

(Reflects on exes).

[Shade 5 🎬 @Shader70]

My fragrance?

It’s called Negligence by Dior.

[DrunjAF @DrunjAF]

The only time that you'll see me running is if I'm being chased by a knife-wielding crazy person or if the potatoes are boiling over on the stove.

[DrunjAF @DrunjAF]

What kind of mother sends her child to live with his Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air after got into one little fight?

[DrunjAF @DrunjAF]

Imagine the frustration if no one ever asked James Bond his name and he didn't get to emphasize his surname?

[CJ @BrassBallsCJ]

I hate when I take a shower with makeup on and when the mirror clears I’m staring at Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

[Ms Evilroyslade™️ @msevilroyslade]

What wine pairs best with a day that feels like a month?

[DrunjAF @DrunjAF]

@EdmontonEsks Edmonton Early Exit

[DrunjAF @DrunjAF]

@xLiserx It's crazy, we are doing so well. Should shut the borders.

[DrunjAF @DrunjAF]

Woman: "We need to take it slow."

Man: "K" (obeys)

Woman: (notices he hasn't texted in 2 hours) screams at phone "Why are you ignoring me you MF!?!?!"

[Ms Evilroyslade™️ @msevilroyslade]

You don’t need to fall in love to live a life full of love.

[DrunjAF @DrunjAF]

When this pandemic ends, I'll be hugging random strangers in the mall.

[Ms Evilroyslade™️ @msevilroyslade]

Has anyone taken this situation to tell someone how they really feel about them?

Please say, “yes”.

[Just J @junejuly12]

Not gonna lie, I do miss random hugs from the coworker who fancied herself a modern day pirate wench with cleavage so deep it could teach philosophy.

[Ms Evilroyslade™️ @msevilroyslade]

I’m not as popular as the whores.

Thank fuck for that.