Drunk Goldy

Is alcohol bad for gophers? Goldy don't think so. Gettin stinky in Dinky since 1851. #Gophers

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

Anyone want to buy this account? I need booze money. 100% serious.

?

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

If I see a single kid wearing an Apple Watch complaining that college is too expensive I will lose it

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

When you start calculating your test score DURING the test you know it's real

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

*waits an hour and a half for a 5 minute academic advising appointment*

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

*masturbates to a picture of springtime*

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

I'm pretty sure Russian Roulette is more predictable than this weather

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

NO TRUST FOR SOMEONE WHO PREFERS ELBOW MACARONI AND CHEESE OVER SPONGEBOB

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

I WANT TO DRINK UNTIL I CANT SEE THE DRESS ANYMORE

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

IM GOING TO FLIP DINKYTOWN ON ITS GOD DAMN HEAD

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

LETS FUCKING GO GOPHS

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

MICHIGAN STATE FARTANS

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

MSWHO?

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

*goes to lecture to not feel guilty*

*doesn't pay attention the entire time*

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

When life is hard but you want to be healthy *pours vodka into salad*

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

When your family visits and takes you out for dinner and you eat as if you're about to hibernate for the winter

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

I take the L and R on my headphones far too seriously

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

SOMEONE SHOULD TELL THESE HIGH SCHOOL KIDS TOURING THE U THAT THEIR LETTERMAN JACKETS ARE REALLY COOL AND IMPRESSIVE

[Drunk Goldy @DrunkGoldy]

WISCONSIN KIDS POUR THE MILK BEFORE THE CEREAL