Dan Sarro

“I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It’s ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm.” – Mike Tyson

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

When the person in front of you pays for your order at Dunkin’, you know it’s gonna be a good day. I swear I was gonna pay for the person behind me but a dozen donuts and a dozen muffins was a bit above the budget.

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

@NickCinseruli Very understandable, I find myself doing the same. Good examples, the first Cava just opened up over in these parts, might have to give it a try based on your assessment!

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

I can’t cotton eyed joe. There I said it.

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

Oh boy, now they’re playing Iron Man - Black Sabbath. Slightly worse but no doubt a close second.

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

In Five Guys and “My Hero” by the Foo Fighters is playing. Try to find me a better song-restaurant combo. I’ll wait.

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

@Clydesthename @cambyrnephoto @StoolGreenie Agreed, this loser just doesn’t know ball

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

@cambyrnephoto @StoolGreenie Tell me you don’t watch basketball without telling me you don’t watch basketball

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

@champagnelalo98 Love that move, nothing like truly shaking someone to their core when they least expect it

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

Revolving doors are so nice. I never have to worry about whether or not I have to hold the door open for the next person. Don’t even have to take a glance

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

@TheJuicyFella Currently watching a couple hold hands as they stroll from machine to machine, absolutely insane move

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

In Five Guys and “My Hero” by the Foo Fighters is playing. Try to find me a better song-restaurant combo. I’ll wait.

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

@Jared_Carrabis All of us sox fans currently

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

Parents and struggling with barcode menus, like white on rice.

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

Taking an elevator a singular floor is psychopath behavior. Up or down, you can walk a flight of stairs. Probably more efficient as well.

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

Recently recruiting for a new chicken fight partner for the pool. Please send resumes via DM and whether your top or bottom fighter - both are welcome to apply.

[Pick Your Poison @ThePYPshow]

The PYP Movie. Check out Part I in our promotional multi episode saga chronicling the creation of our show https://t.co/h3OjgCLyrN

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

@kellyinvegas I’ve been down this road Kelly. On a plane as well I might add. Not a successful venture. Hopefully yours turns out better given the more explicit exclamation.

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

I don’t believe it, devastated to hear the news. RIP, legend.

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

"Hey mom, I'm done with my segment!" It's been a pleasure watching you @ClaytonESPN

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

I pay $9 a bag. You could, at the very least, crack these shells. 3 in a row without so much as a crease! Very disappointed @WonderfulNuts

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

@notaburnersc Veto. Sounds like a power move to me.

[Dan Sarro @Dsarro22]

@SamNaftal Well this is awkward