Dylan Schmidt

you gotta give the people what they want

[AJAX Sports Agency @AJAX_Sports]

@SchoolerBrenden + #ProBowlVote

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

I’m just here for the zip line

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

Elias is jelly

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

I’m dedicating every margarita I drink today to Jimmy Buffett

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

Me: “the food is the U.S must be poison. When I travel all I do is drink and eat and I somehow lose weight!”

Also me when I travel:

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

In an endless loop of burning my mouth on food because I refuse to give it time to cool off

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

@BarkMagz Bragger

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

You know what was more fun than drinking?

Underage drinking

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

$20 for beef jerky is WILD

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

I have health insurance

I’m actin UP!

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

You know how we only use 10% of our brains?
I think we only use 10% of our hearts

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

Let’s bring back Ska-punk this summer plz

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

Abunch of nuns on this flight #whatupsista

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

Jackson Mahomes son or thot daughter?

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

I’m at a karaoke bar. I signed up to sing but there are do many people here idk if I’ll get to sing

Regarding in burning this place down

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

Only the realest friends make friend-sized sandwiches

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

@BarkMagz The orange yolk 🤤😮‍💨🤌

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

I found a 24-hour subway now I’m eating an Italian BMT in my king sized hotel bed (flex) watching chopped
#livingmybestlife

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

Im at a bar in Chicago with Tom and Hayden’s watching the stars game #GoStars

[Dylan Schmidt @DylanSchmidt5]

There was something different about these beans. They most likely came from a can but there was extra love added in