Mr.Ellis

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

St Patrick's Dat tip,
clean your toilet now.
You may be face down in it later

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

One time when I was 17 my card got declined on a McFlurry

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Boss: Why are you late?

Me: Someone told me to go to hell, I couldn't find it at first but I'm here now

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Using the plug as a phone stand! This woman is living in 3023

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Me risking my job, career and future for an extra 10 minutes sleep every morning

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Absolutely hilarious how a day that was meant to commemorate the arrival of christianity in Ireland has ended up evolving into a wild day out of getting absolutely wasted and lowkey colour discrimination, cheers Ireland 🍻🇮🇪

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Absolutely hilarious how a day that was meant to commemorate the arrival of christianity in Ireland has ended up evolving into a wild day out of getting absolutely wasted, cheers Ireland 🍻🇮🇪

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Americans on St Patrick's day after finding out they are 5.78% Irish

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Counting down the time at work like:
Just 30 minutes left. That's two 15 minute halves. I've just got to get through 10 minutes, 3 times.

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Jonah Hill is literally turning into Plato

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Jonah Hill entering his Platonic era

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

These 2 have to be the dumbest people alive

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

My feet after a 10 hour shift

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Me: *urinates in the shower*

The employees at B&Q:

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Spot the hidden message

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Me at 9pm: Okay, just a few drinks, nothing too crazy

Me at 3am:

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

My child: What is that?

Me holding an Oreo Milkshake:
It's spicy, you won't like it

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

This is the most wild message I've ever seen...

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

What do you call a short mother?

A minimum

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Catch yourself a millf this Mothers day

[Mr.Ellis @E_Crowe10]

Tinder is for rookies.
Go to Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses, it'll show you recently divorced females and from there you can filter by size.