Evan Samuels

Won't blow up your timeline. Might tweet about sports. Will try to be funny. Probably be kind of funny.

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

Hey here's a video I made, A Punk Is Born https://t.co/ZaR6CwiDHA

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

@SandyofCthulhu MY problem with portrayals of poker is they always do illegal stuff. 90% of movies have someone say “I call your bet of X……..and raise you Y.” Thats a string bet, not allowed.
Also, you can only bet what’s on the table. Not some amount that makes them bet their car keys.

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

Unmentioned great thing about One Battle After Another:
PTA directed about 7 HAIM videos.
Casts them in Licorice Pizza, makes Alana the female lead.
So here’s the next movie, she gets about 5 minutes of screen time, and Sean Penn shoots her in the head. Tricked ya!

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

@NewYorker Since when do we expect that? Is there an example I’m forgetting? I can’t even think of a time they came back with newfound clarity, let alone made their “finest art”. Certainly not enough times to “expect” it.

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

@TonyDungy That nonsense OPI on Zay changed everything (not to mention my fantasy season)

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

I’m dumb so just now realizing the genius of screaming “The cities are dystopian hellscapes!”, pretending to clean them up, then telling people who never left their square mile it’s now safe.

[Acyn @Acyn]

Miller: I praise god every day that Donald Trump is our president and we've gone from 30% inflation, 20 million illegals, unlimited refugees, violent crime in our cities to security in our city's, no illegals, no more refugees and finally a country that puts American citizens first.

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

@ChrisCooper_NFL Any farther to the left and 55 picks it.

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

@NewEraZach Ya know when you put it like this

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

@MattZeitlin Omg Julia Salazar yes please.

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

@ButtaIMB Type “9 Volt” into Amaz*n. Hit “Order”. Grab that white circle off the wall thats been chirping at you for weeks. Swap out the battery.

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

@mvp_wizz Hey man could you not have Diddy yellling “What I want I get” represent our team please?

[sarah hagi @KindaHagi]

obsessed with people on here who are always making sweeping statements about the state of the world and young people and it seems very worrying until you realize they’re interpreting all of this from watching reels and tiktok all night

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

Trump gonna be posting “Thin line between your biggest fan and your biggest opp” memes all week.

[Sam Stein @samstein]

Wow. Trump dumps MTG

WHAT A NIGHT

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

@YouTubeTV Price of the brick going up.

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

Never imagined a Sheck Wes song would give me chills.

[Evan Samuels @EazyEv]

@TheRewatchables Now we’re friggin TALKING

[🟡 The tumboy 🟡 @TheTumboy]

it’s so funny that the rest of the world sees George Clooney as suave, handsome, funny, well-spoken, just the whole package but whenever the Coen brothers put him in a movie they’re like “haha look at this fucking dumbass”

[THE KID MERO 🇩🇴 @THEKIDMERO]

THATS IT N THATS ALL!!

[Zach Bollinger @zachbollinger18]

It’s Ravens vs Vikings week and I haven’t seen a single person post about the craziest 2 minutes in NFL history…

What a time to be alive.

[Riviera, PhD @Socialist_frogz]

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to be an aloof wife, quietly steering a campaign from behind the scenes