ED Nurse Rants

tales & rants from a ED nurse

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

Patient “I am allergic to paracetamol and morphine, the only thing that works is entonox”
Me “Interesting....”
#liarliarpantsonfire #ednurse #ednurserants

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

A new one for me....
Me “what medical conditions do you have?”
Patient “a diverse colitis”
Me “errrm.... diverticulitis?”

#ednurserants #diversecolitis #diverticulitis #thingspatientssay #ednurse

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

“Im a band 6 nurse. I must be in charge”

Me:

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

Is the ward bed ever ready? 🤭

#EDnurse #EDnurserants #truestories #findmeabed

[ER 💩 Magnet, BSN RN CEN @ERshitmagnet]

Me: “You’re pregnant.”

17 y/o Pt: “That’s impossible. My boyfriend can’t get me pregnant.”

Me: “And why is that?”

Pt’s 18 y/o boyfriend: “Cause I cum in her at night.”

Me: “....”

Pt’s bf: “If you cum in someone at night, then the sperm can’t find the egg in the dark.”

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

Patient “I used to be tall, dark and handsome.... now I’m just tall” 🤣

#patienttalk #funny #overheardontheward

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

Life in RAP ✌🏼
#EDnurse #triagelife #EDnurserants #starwars

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

So I’ve hit 1000 followers since I have been away.... Better carry on ranting then ✌🏼 #guesswhosback #EDnurserants #1000followers

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

Best thing I heard in ED last night
"What's the difference between penicillin and antibiotics?" 😂💊💉

#overheardinED #brilliant #EDnurserantd #antibiotics

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

@Glitter_Medic Tea/coffee rounds solve everything! 👍🏽

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

Paediatric pet peeve 😖

Parent books in, rushes to the desk in panic "my kid has a high fever"

Child looks like this... 😑

#paediatric #petpeeve #bakingthechild #ednurserants

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

When bae gives you that look of love 😏

#annie #mannequin #kissoflife #ednurserants

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

Me "do you smoke?"
Patient "yes my uncle told me it's good for you, it opens up your lungs"
Me "errrrm"

#smokers #facepalm #ednurserants

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

When this is whispered in your ear 😍

#IV #nurselove #whisperittome #tinglingfeeling #ednurse #youknowwhatimtalkingabout

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

https://t.co/u36XXkrEOV 👿

#labwar #haemolysed #samplesendigb #ednurserants

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

When a heroine user asks you politely not to cannulate his hand as he wants to shoot up in those veins later

#facepalm #hedidaskpolitely

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

When a patients relative clocks eyes with you across the department

#relatives #lookbusy #ednurserants

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

When you burst a blister and accidentally cover the doc in serus fluid 😂

#oops #accidentalleakage #sorrynotsorry

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

When a paramedic starts the handover with "I'm sorry". You know it's all going to rapidly deteriorate

#handover #ednurserants #paramedics

[ED Nurse Rants @EDnurserants]

Overheard by doctor in ED "she had normal looking flaps" 😂

#hamsandwich #overheard #ednurserants