EJ

Random rants and whatever else I find remotely clever

[EJ @ej_brotons]

I thought @benshapiro was @charliekirk11 and was confused when I learned Ben Shapiro isn’t dead. They’re both still cunts though.

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Since fucking when are @TheScarlett1 and @CharlizeAfrica not the same person??? The wool has been pulled from my eyes. I could’ve sworn…

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Rollerblading is a clear sign of homosexuality, sis

[EJ @ej_brotons]

@Simone_Biles cheering for @ZhouYaqin09 during 2024 Olympics beam finals is my anti depression medication

[EJ @ej_brotons]

I think I just learned again that @tyburrell_ isn’t @JonHammOnline

[EJ @ej_brotons]

I really pride myself on being the friend that will send you a voicemail and you have no fucking idea what you’re about to hear

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Everyone in the 80s had to be constipated and having flu-like symptoms drinking whole cow milk and smoking cigarettes indoors all the time, right?

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Why do I find the idea of a @itsjojosiwa x @theannadelvey collab so funny but also so appropriate #scammaz

[EJ @ej_brotons]

@Reese10Angel @angel_rice13 do yall know eachother ?

[EJ @ej_brotons]

@Reese10Angel @angel_rice13 do you guys know eachother?

[EJ @ej_brotons]

@jadeacarey triple double layout please!!!

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Who tf are all these bring a pillow to the airport people??? 🤢🤢🤢they need to stay home

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Ok so what’s the plot line of the Disney villains movie starring #emmastone as @cruella and #angelinajolie as @Maleficent ? …but not in a @KINGDOMHEARTS way…

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Is it possible to have a season of @RuPaulsDragRace where they bring all the same girls back from their original season together to compete again, but they have to compete with their old teeth?

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Ok but as a Chinese speaker, @66wind99 being @RuPaulsDragRace reigning and @NiohuruX winning @BBDragula is really fierce

太厉害啊！DRAG的比赛赢家@NiohuruX @66wind99 恭喜恭喜🎊🍾🎉

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Correct me if I’m wrong but I think @RuPaul is fatphobic?

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Are there any conspiracy theories that say that American football @NFL is a control mechanism used to force intelligent, vibrant, beautiful women to pretend to care about 300lb gorilla men tackling eachother so that they come across like cool girls?

[EJ @ej_brotons]

Where do all the children that had birthdays at @McDonalds growing up live? What do they do for work? I want to know these people

[EJ @ej_brotons]

#benicetogeorge

[EJ @ej_brotons]

The time waiting for grindr to approve a new profile picture to meet their guidelines is kind of suspenseful!!!