Do you know what hurts me the most?
It isn’t that I lost Eylül.
It’s that if she had found me before you did, I don’t think she would’ve wanted me back.
Somewhere between losing her and chasing the people who took her from me, I disappeared.
I became a man my little sister would’ve walked past
without recognising.
Then you happened.
And for reasons I’ll never understand...
you loved me anyway.
Not the man I could have been.
You loved the man who lied to you.
The man who shut you out.
The man who chose revenge over peace, over happiness,
over you.
You saw every ugly corner of my soul, every wound I had sharpened into a weapon,
every reason to leave
and still, you looked at me as if there was someone worth saving.
I couldn’t understand it.
Because every time I looked in the mirror, I saw the brother who had failed his sister.
You looked at that same man
and somehow saw the brother she was still waiting for.
You believed in him long before I ever could.
Every time I became someone Eylül would’ve cried over,
you loved me as though you could still see the little boy she once held onto.
And maybe...
that’s why you found her.
Not only because you were searching for Eylül.
But also because you never stopped searching for me.
When I had accepted that my last memory of my sister would always be my last, you refused to accept it.
You carried hope I had buried years ago.
You fought for a family that wasn’t yours
with more determination than I had left to fight for my own. While I was chasing ghosts, you were quietly leading me back.
People will always say you found my sister.
They’ll tell that story because it’s the one they can see.
But they’ll never know the story that came before it.
Before Eylül could find her brother,
you had to.
Before she could ever call me abi again,
you had to make me believe I could still answer to that name.
Before she could recognize the little boy she grew up with,
you had to love the man grief had turned him into.
You didn’t just return my sister to me.
You returned me to her.
How do I thank the woman who gave me back the only person I never stopped loving,
when she had already spent so long giving me back the man I had stopped loving?
I don’t know if I’ll ever become the man I was before I lost Eylül.
Maybe that man is gone forever.
But because of you,
the man I become tomorrow no longer has to be the one grief created yesterday.
Finding Eylül was a miracle.
Finding me
was the impossible one.
Because anyone could have looked for my sister.
Only you searched for me.
And if there is anything good left in me,
anything Eylül can still recognize as her brother,
anything you can still recognize as your husband,
it exists because you loved me when I couldn’t find a single reason to love myself.
So if I spend the rest of my life looking at you like the greatest miracle I’ve ever known,
it’s because you are.
Not the day I found Eylül.
Not the day revenge ended.
You.
You have always been the greatest miracle of my life.♥️
#arafta
P.S. Came across this edit. If anyone knows the original editor, I'll gladly credit them.
I have seen very few actors and @emingunenc_ is one of them who lives through the emotions he portrays, he lived through Ateş karahan.BOW DOWN for his masterclass performance🤍.
#arafta#araftaS2#MerTeş