Eli Etten

JEDI

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

I don't want to play guitar anymore without somebody else playing along with me. It's sad.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

@archerandprey_ No, I'm here forEvermore!

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

@alkaseltzer_666 Several years ago somebody on Facebook told me to quit stalking you, I WAS NOT!!! Not sure how you ever might've got that idea. Somehow, not sure how, an account in your name was added to my friends list and there's no explanation for it, Bean!

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

I'm not exactly The Creator, I'm the designer.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

I didn't run all the capillaries and veins in everyone, I didn't make it work, but you are of my design.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

Ellen Degeneres knows God loves her, and so does Eli, the living God. He has his own skillset and applies it to everyone, every day. He's a miracle worker, he is the original creator. He didn't build it, but it's my/his design.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

@sebastianbach I loved you in "Trailer Park Boys"! Oh yeah, and "Skid Row".

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

Little boobies are nice, big ones get ugly, real quick!

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

Methamphetamines are horribly, horribly misunderstood. It's made by magic, pure unadulterated magic. It makes you smarter. The problem is that it is sought out by poor people in desperate situations who end up doing bad things to get by.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

With my plan, in time, a relatively short amount of time, everybody wins. Everybody's needs are met and their desires satisfied. You'll get just about everything your heart desires. Not what your mind thinks you want, what the heart wants.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

Celebrate the small victories, it'll keep you going until you have a big win!

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

I've got beer, bread, bologna, and a big ol' jar of Miracle Whip, PARTY!!!

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

I just had a wonderful feeling that I've never really had before: narcissism! I love everything in creation, except for the few monsters that remain, I love my life, I love what I do and I love myself. Aren't you supposed to a little?

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

Somewhere in the world there might be a little kid filling up on dirt because he's hungry. We have to make sure there isn't.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

There are people out there just waiting to pull the trigger on someone. Some become gang members, some become cops, some keep guns scattered around the house just hoping somebody busts in. Fuck that mentality.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

People are awfully optimistic about the pandemic coming to an end. Do they know what I know?

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

They said they could do anything I want, so I said Lightsabers, replicators, and holodecks, and nobody uses them for perverted reasons, which might be expecting too much out of humanity.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

Somebody clearly moved one of my guitars, and that means the world isn't coming to an end. It does.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

It's good to stand up for yourself, but standing up for yourself when you're stupid and wrong is horribly entertaining. Try to know the difference.

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

I love all, even the horrible ones that I'm not too proud of I really Like! Seriously, they bring me great joy! WWJD?

[Eli Etten @EliREtten]

@AppSame They're he-re!