Ellen🌙

TTU alum

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@prismonic @Katy_Faust What a horrible take.

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@Cautiousclayton AUSTIN!

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

A woman posted her DJ “do not play” list for her wedding reception and her first artist was pitbull. I immediately scrolled. How can anyone shit on pitbull, he’s Mr. Worldwide for a reason! Shake, Time of Our Lives, Hey Baby, etc. just say you don’t wanna throw ass at ur wedding

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@Cautiousclayton YAY!!!!

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

I’m part of a home design group on Facebook and 90% of the time it’s super informative and helpful, the other 10% is pure comedy

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

So the DMV people show you your picture now, which is cool.. but they don’t let you retake it. They just let you know how hideous you are before they print it. Sick fucks

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@katie_kohl First of all, you’re so insanely beautiful and radiant right now.. and second I genuinely cackled out loud reading lard ass

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@kyylien I stole for a squatty potty at white elephant this weekend! It was a huge hit!

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@JackKennedy The whole crew is out

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

Since none of my guests are active on Twitter, I can blab about my surprise wedding. 10/10 recommend this route! TOMORROW ILL BE A WIFEY!

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@alibeano That would have been incredible! I sweat they didn’t even brush it half the episodes…

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

Why does Nicole Kidman always get the worst wigs imaginable for her roles?? Who is trying to sabotage this woman?? Her natural hair is GORGEOUS! And yes I’m a bottle of wine deep, 4 episodes into #ThePerfectCouple

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@The_kjstewart 😂 my thoughts exactly!

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@Copter_roflez I went to a store alone and picked out 3-4 rings I liked and got sized, fiancé went back later without me and they had all my info on file! It was a great knowing I’d get something I really loved, but still surprised with which one/how big/when he did it!

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

Any time my best friend asks me to babysit she always apologizes profusely and acts like it’s a big inconvenience.. like girl… I’m chilling with an adorable 1 y/o, cuddling him before bed (at 7pm), and then eating free food and watching Apple TV. This is the BEST night !!

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@DaveEDanna Met our freshman year of college, I briefly dated his friend. We didn’t see each other for about 12 years after that, until one day I saw him at my local bar! Been inseparable ever since, engaged last weekend!!

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@micsolana I have a running list rating airport restrooms and LaGuardia is currently top spot out of 49!

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

LEBRON OOP FROM REAVES 🤯 https://t.co/ur8ci1XR0U

[Ellen🌙 @EllenMcCarthyy]

@hannahcrileyy Crying the happiest tears for y’all! I’m so happy your baby is home with you!

[BadGalAli @aliweitz]

Jalen Hurts on 4th and 1: