Nicole P

it's hard being the funniest person i know

[Nicole P @elociNAP]

it’s been 2 days and i already need to delete this app again

[Nicole P @elociNAP]

Also hi twitter it’s been 2 years but I’m BACK BABY

[Nicole P @elociNAP]

Update. 28 years old and still have these letters on my car. Someone pls help

[Nicole P @elociNAP]

i am 26 years old still driving around with my sorority letters on the back of my car. oof.

[lea chin-sang @bigfatmoosepssy]

Instead of making the Green M&M less sexy, they should’ve made them ALL sluttier

[Taco Bell @tacobell]

Take that extra Hot Sauce Packet, you never know when you'll need it.

[Nicole P @elociNAP]

@yanivision_ y did it take you this long to realize this????

[Ledo Pizza @LedoPizza]

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[Nicole P @elociNAP]

@claudsperca

[Sridhar Ramesh @RadishHarmers]

You're not supposed to drink water. It makes you pee. Listen to your body. It's trying desperately to get rid of it.

[Nicole P @elociNAP]

making your therapist laugh is low key a flex

[Nicole P @elociNAP]

@yanivision_ remember when we kissed?? you became straight

[Nicole P @elociNAP]

@Puffs_mom stfu

[abby govindan @abbygov]

covid strains frat boys in college
ruining my life draining me
emotionally
🤝
alpha delta omicron

[Ledo Pizza @LedoPizza]

🎅 #FridayFeeling GIVEAWAY 🎅

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[Jae 🦂 @SourrPatchy]

I be like “communication is key ” then ignore everyone

[mikey @BlackThruHist]

I got fired from Whole Foods because I took home the bagels and muffins that they were going to throw in the trash. They also threw away approximately 8 pizzas every night and told the hot foods department they’d get fired if they ate some without paying first

[nesrin danan @blackprints]

cant relate to taylor swift bc she said she was never good at telling jokes. i, however, am great at that

[“holden” “seidlitz” @jock__derrida]

if you didn’t fail your driver’s test at least once you’re probably not hot

[Nicole P @elociNAP]

@Paulizay are you gunna eat all the dog treats on dwight’s advent calendar too????

[Molly @FSUmollz]

Dudes be like “nobody cares about your spotify wrapped” then post their golf swing

[Nicole P @elociNAP]

how my dog sleeps after eating half a box of Hanukkah candles