Colin Salazar

Lurker on the tweets, twerker in the streets, streaker in the sheets.

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

What do you call a Cult that is hard to get into?

Difficult.

[Chris Murphy @christress]

once i invent a beverage that makes you want to keep living between 3:15 and 4:48 pm it's over for you hoes

[memes.xlsx @ExcelHumor]

10 hours into automating a 3 minute task

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

RIP boiled water.

You will be mist.

[Martin Austermuhle @maustermuhle]

If only D.C. had a tabloid newspaper, the headline would read: "SWIFT-BOATED: 'BAD BLOOD' AS TAYLOR TOUR HAS 'BLANK SPACE' FOR D.C."

[memes.xlsx @ExcelHumor]

time to get upset by doing the job i applied for

[caitie delaney @caitiedelaney]

The headphones are doing nothing

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

today is the only day you can retweet this

[lux @lamegff]

microsoft edge? when we gonna let microsoft cum?

[Matt Negrin, HOST OF HARDBALL AT 7PM ON MSNBC @MattNegrin]

Why'd they call it nyquil chicken and not robitusserie

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

I bought shoes from a drug dealer once.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

[memes.xlsx @ExcelHumor]

company: we need everyone in the office

when i go to the office:

[beardy boy @joshua_j123]

The Kelly Rowland/Excel mystery has finally been resolved