@el-tool

crazy buffet eater...cookie monster.🗿🐏

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I loan it out in June.

[Bob Kostic @causticbob]

Exercise

[Sunday Sport @thesundaysport]

Them white eggs are working already

[Sunday Sport @thesundaysport]

I never know what colour bin to throw, so I wait until the neighbours start throwing theirs

[Progress Bar 2026 @ProgressBar202_]

2026 is 42% complete.

[Kitchen Sanctuary @KitchenSanc2ary]

This is my homemade crispy Sweet and Sour Chicken recipe with a sweet and tangy sauce made from scratch using store cupboard ingredients! Ready in 25 minutes.
https://t.co/vazX5eLSfT
#Foodie #quickmeals #recipes

[Bob Kostic @causticbob]

Accordion to a recent study, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument.

[Sunday Sport @thesundaysport]

In today's Sunday Sport. Available in Britain's finer newsagents

[Rick and Morty @RickandMorty]

Boob World finally happening?

[@el-tool @eltool]

Friendly reminder, when your child comes home from uni, they bring their shit with them. My daughter has towels bigger than my bed sheets, the fuck am I gonna do with them?

[@el-tool @eltool]

Newcastle bound, where has the time gone.

[@el-tool @eltool]

@OldMackIsBack Yup, when I used to read it, when delivering as a paper boy,I never thought I'd be getting political advice from the paper that did headlines like,"Freddie star ate my hamster"

[Monsters Of Rock® @MonstersOfRock]

1984

[@el-tool @eltool]

Fraid they did.

[Sky News @SkyNews]

Former Lostprophets singer's crimes did not justify his killing, court told.

Read more 🔗 https://t.co/zEHm1Kw5e0

[@el-tool @eltool]

I think her name should be pronounced a little more exciting than just,"oscar"

[Ryanair @Ryanair]

fixed it

[Progress Bar 2026 @ProgressBar202_]

2026 is 36% complete.

[@el-tool @eltool]

@imonwwe Indeed, the poor gimmicks continue, I don't like sol ruca as a surfer chick, she's too talented.

[@el-tool @eltool]

@AuntCunt What happened to denzil, haven't seen him in ages.