Emerson Schmidt

[Nick @NickZararis]

Larry on line at security makes a joke "do you really need to search me, you think I'm gonna be the one who does it?" And ends up in Secret Service custody for the entirety of the game, asking each interrogator as they come into the room for an update on the score of the game

[tayler (😬) @billdifferen]

MY WEED LOUD
MY TACOS MEXICAN
FUCK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS
SPURS EN 7

[LindyMan @PaulSkallas]

One thing about the 4HL is that it teaches you how to do things you dislike doing very well. It exercises that muscle. If you ever meet artists who never worked a real job, or people who grew up wealthy, or people in acdemia all their lives, they struggle with mundane admin tasks. It devastates them. Simple things like doing taxes or getting their license renewed.

[PGL @PerfectGameLex]

MJF is the greatest of all time for telling this guy people hate him for reasons that are unrelated to being Jewish to his face and then walking into a sold out Louis Armstrong Stadium and winning the world title.

[Emerson Schmidt @emersonpi]

@Wario64 Holy shit I can't believe it

[RohanKar @RohanKarMooN]

#BEASTMODE

[Timothy Johnson @MiamiCanes1971]

The British being unprepared to perform on American soil has been a tradition since 1776

[galaxygaz @gazmon48]

“Yeah I’m gonna stifle your cure cancer trigger”

[Emerson Schmidt @emersonpi]

@TrevorDame I mean he can also enjoy your content

[Justin Whang 🐙 @JustinWhang]

I remember when they tried to tell us 5 dollar footlongs only existed for a few months

[machine yearning engineer @confusionm8trix]

if the pussy doesn’t have roguelike elements I’m not coming

[Emerson Schmidt @emersonpi]

@Wrestling80s90s @JustinWhang The summer of Sting, his tan atrophied too much brother

[Self Made AO 💫 @KXNGAO]

Steve Maclin called his boss a cuck on national TV then quit 3 week later, this is what this business is all about🔥🔥🔥

[Emerson Schmidt @emersonpi]

Who, Barack Obama?

[Neera Tanden🌻 @neeratanden]

@RealProfSnark @ryangrim I have a hard time getting lectured on the Supreme Court from people who didn't give a shit about it when it mattered the most.
But I definitely vote for the Supreme
Court and judges in every election.

[👁️🦀 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔸𝕣𝕚 𝕆𝕟𝕟𝕒 🦀👁️ @AriOnnaDX]

Bro went from Lex Luger to Lex Luger

[the second ellie @kingepic22]

people complaining about tupac in stranger than heaven are really proving that they never listened to his music

[Jeremiah Johnson 🌐 @JeremiahDJohns]

This one's going deep in the Bad Tweets contest, I can feel it. Just exquisite.