Emily Joanne

yeah. I'm this annoying in real life too.

[Emily Joanne @EmilyHimple]

Also here's a sloth playing a banjo. You're welcome.

[Shane Claiborne @ShaneClaiborne]

Whatever we do to the widows and orphans and refugees, we do to Christ.

“When I was a stranger you did not welcome me… for what you did unto the least of these you did unto me.” -Jesus (Matthew 25)

The border crisis is a compassion crisis. It’s not just a political issue, but a deeply spiritual issue. According to Jesus, we will be judged as a nation by how we care for the “least of these.”

[Mason Mennenga @masonmennenga]

bob the tomato had senior pastor energy. larry the cucumber had youth pastor energy

[Mason Mennenga @masonmennenga]

be the person your youth group self would have feared the most

[Alex Friedman 🤠 @heyalexfriedman]

I wish Zillow allowed comments on house listings. I just KNOW they would go so hard.

[Ben Rosen @ben_rosen]

(after texting the most honest, soul baring thing i have ever said in my entire life) lol

[inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa]

there needs to be a Spotify algorithm that automatically calls your therapist if you listen to the same song 213 times

[$𝔩𝔞𝔭☃️ @slvppy]

why girl’s named deborah always go by “deb” and never “bruh”

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

IBS is such a funny diagnosis because they still dont really have a singular cause, just a swath of related symptoms

"Hey doc I've been shitting a lot"

"hmmmmmm sounds like you have ShittingALot disease"

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

I LIKE HAVING A BODY BUT I WOULD PREFER IF THIS ONE WOULD GET ITS ACT TOGETHER.

[Jonathan @jonathanhimple]

my dad put on a spotify playlist meant for mexican restaurants before proceeding to serve the WHITEST tacos you have ever seen in your life

[Aubrey Hirsch @aubreyhirsch]

I feel like I’ve been saying “This is a particularly hard week” for like 3 years.

[Emily Joanne @EmilyHimple]

Is a man. 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Somehow unable to neither get busy living nor get busy dying

[ً @onlysimpin]

phone be so dry i be checking tomorrow's weather

[Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan]

There should be a name for the short period of enjoyment you experience after you eat something unhealthy but right before you feel nauseous and spin into a pool of regret. Suggestions?

[Emily Joanne @EmilyHimple]

Out of context dinner conversations:

Cindi: “I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS GAY”

[Clarke @pleasuresystems]

Did I make a complete humiliating fool of myself last night or was I a sweet delight and everyone loves me? Love asking this question

[jame @kloogans]

you ever get a random pain on the side of ur head for a second and ur like "this is it" and then it goes away and ur like "ok"

[Aly Dixon @aly__dixon]

doctor at my check up asked me if i had “any feelings of depression or anxiety” and i said “don’t we all” and she said “no” lol