eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

Going to Eagles open practice next week, hope they sign me to the practice squad or something

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

@anannabananacan Came back to twitter just for this

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

Can someone please tell toddlers they’re allowed to drink water during the day so it’s not a race to chug as much as possible before bed?

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

The only place I will be moving in the next 3-5 years is 6ft under bc I am tired

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

How am I doing?? Well my kid said I looked like a butthole so

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

I have been to hell and it is called the great wolf lodge

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

@anannabananacan Maybe some baby art

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

Trying to sell my house is wild, if you ask for more than 30 min in a showing I immediately assume you are looking through my closets

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

I’m an excited white right now

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

I LOVE THE EAGLES (this season took 10
years off my life)

[Philadelphia Eagles @Eagles]

MUSTAAAAAARRRRDDDD!!

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

I want to give everyone on the roster a little smoochie on their forehead CAWCAWCAW #flyeaglesfly

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

Roses are red, the chiefs feel blue, if you’re an Eagle, I love you

[Crossing Broad @CrossingBroad]

Hang it in the Art Museum

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

I COULD RUN THROUGH A WALL RIGHT NOW

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

The Commanders trying to stop the Tush Push

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

@anannabananacan Be careful, might shave your eyebrows next

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

ATP i want an MRI for Christmas

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

@anannabananacan Damn it, I went last time he was there and he was 10/10 but I got warped tour tickets for DC the two days before 😭

[eats beans sometimes, sits on them all the time @EmJacobeen]

@anannabananacan I can’t wait