Shmemily

I can speak. I can walk.

[mj 𝜗𝜚⋆˚ @simplymxine]

what is zohran mamdani’s plan to deal with the vegas golden knights

[frances 🏒 @IlyasCigarette]

when i say that consuming fanfic at every opportunity is the only thing keeping me from a full on menty b right now im being deadly serious

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

@ClTYOFMON Ottawa's pride night game never seems to be on anyone's radar and it NEEDS TO BE

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

@KleaterSinney WHEN is their next tour please

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

I miss when celebrities would come to your house and murder you if you didn't vote.

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

Did I dream the DMX cover of "Don't Stop Believing" or does it really exist?

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

@crustiluls420 Mark me down for the first week of October.

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

At what age will I stop announcing "horses!" everytime I see horses on a road trip?

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

What's better than not working all day and accidentally lighting up at exactly 4:20?

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

YOU'RE EMAILING ME? IT'S DECEMBER 20TH - AND YOU'RE EMAILING ME?!?!?!?!?

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

Do vegans swallow or does their moral high ground require them to spit?

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

@billzdollabillz 3 MILES is just way too far tho

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

In case anyone didn't know, my favorite place to get drunk is in an airport. It's also coincidentally the only place I tweet.

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

Out of respect for Canada I will only listen to Avril Lavinge and her ex-husbands for the next three days.

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

Big round of applause for the gentleman in 11E who turned his phone off airplane mode and opened grindr the moment wheels touched down. We are not at the gate but he already has a date later

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

The only part of my online presence I am proud of is my review tab on Goodreads.

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

The more time I spend in Europe looking at American news, the more I want to throw my passport into the Baltic Sea.

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

I accidentally deleted this app because I didn't know what "X" was (?¿?¿) but I'm at an airport alone again so guess what!

[Shmemily @EmMack55]

Having several airport beers so you know what that means! Until I board I will be firing off replies to literally every tweet in the feed