Emma Tim

Ask me about my opinions on jelly beans

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Waiting for the Purge so I can finally cut off the tags on my mattress

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Special skills: every time I start a new project I manage to grab the only skein of the color I need in the whole city.

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Happy jelly bean season to those who celebtate

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

They should make bags of jelly beans without all the flavors that suck.

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Cats see a paper towel roll just sitting there and are like Absolutely Fucking Not

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Praying to these two that this honey vanilla chamomile tea fixes me

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

I'd do a lot for some french fries right now.

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

"Yeah, and you guys are AVERAGE-LY whores"

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Remy when he sees my breasts

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Remy when the cats are being annoying:

I'm Just Ken 1:30

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

My Friends from Sweeney Todd but it's me singing about all of the praying mantises I find at work

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

My fatal flaw is that I get too excited when I eat a McChicken and end up with incurable hiccups

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Grease should not be done in high schools. It should be done exclusively in community theater where all of the students are played by 40-year-olds, the way god intended.

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Remy be like: "hes such a gay little guy (affectionate)"

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Call me The Barenaked Ladies because I'm watching X-Files with no lights on, dans la maison

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Baldur's Gate III has Remy CUMMING

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

@willbcampos was this intentional?

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

Thank you so much to @dungeonsanddads for making our time at RTX awesome!

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

With all due respect to whoever wrote this cookie recipe, I believe the correct measurement of chocolate chips is "fuck it, we ball"

[Emma Tim @EmmaTimAldrich]

My favorite style of Theatre Man is the weird grumpy old guy who says the most out of pocket things and scares the new actors a little bit.