Michael

numbers and stuff.

[Michael @EmmBallz]

The pure joy dogs experience when you pick up their most cherished belongings and hurl them across the room warms my heart

[Michael @EmmBallz]

Monster Mash is an objective musical masterpiece

[Michael @EmmBallz]

Texts from my mother

[Michael @EmmBallz]

Every four(ish) years the Euro Cup comes along and reminds me of my irrational, unrequited love for all things Scandinavia

[Michael @EmmBallz]

Nothing says “we care (but not really)” like empty hand sanitizer dispensers at 9am

[Michael @EmmBallz]

Where’s the unsubscribe button on my physical mailbox

[Michael @EmmBallz]

If being outside on this glorious day in Chicago doesn’t make you happy then I’m out of ideas

[Michael @EmmBallz]

DK Metcalf pursuing interceptors

[Michael @EmmBallz]

*large disclaimer that the previous tweet is contingent upon Ricketts not pocketing the cash and continuing to cry poor for the rest of the off-season. A boy can dream

[Michael @EmmBallz]

Unpopular take: I love this trade for the Cubs. Move a 34yo injury-prone pitcher with 3/$60 left on contract at the peak of his value; free up cap space to retain young(er) bats; replenish barren farm system with 4 lottery tickets; give direction to meandering 2019-2020 squad

[Michael @EmmBallz]

Badgers getting a QB can only be likened to Happy Gilmore learning how to putt

[Michael @EmmBallz]

The best thing about golf is that every hole ends with a perfect shot

[Michael @EmmBallz]

Hey Chicago, who turned off the heat?! ...right guys?

[Michael @EmmBallz]

Observing people’s prioritization of @SouthwestAir’s seats is such a fascinating case study of human behavior

[Michael @EmmBallz]

@dougielucas13 @zerohedge Yeah tell ‘em Doug!

[Michael @EmmBallz]

@sporer - huge electronicals guy. Biggest I know.

[Michael @EmmBallz]

There are few things in life I enjoy as much as the Athletics being in the playoff hunt

[Michael @EmmBallz]

If you think you’re having a bad week, just remember that Robinson Cano broke his hand, squandered 12 million dollars, and lost his chance to become a Hall of Famer #blessed

[Michael @EmmBallz]

Uber drivers who dish out free water and candy are super creepy and super awesome

[Michael @EmmBallz]

If you have to put on ski goggles and a helmet to ride your bike around Chicago, it's probably time to hang up your wheels for the winter