The Daily Thompson

Catty doppelgänger of the actress, screenwriter and famous guardian of Her Majesty's English. I have two Oscars in my downstairs loo (but I NEVER mention them).

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

At CERN, top scientific minds are devising a way to combat global warming by harnessing the dullness of Emeli Sande. #Glastobury2017

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

BREAKING: #Eurovision won by smug, graceless prick who thinks his song is art, and the others aren't.

It's *Eurovision*, sweet cheeks.

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

Suggest we invade a few, ma'am. https://t.co/YXl1uUvQhS

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

Europe, I'm disappointed in you. #Eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

Fuuuuck... is the Georgian guy actually on Heroin, right now? #eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

Fair dinkum, aussies! #eurovision #12points

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

"Good mooning, Australia..." #eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

I see Serbia have erected a statue to the mooning Australian already. #eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

NORTON IS OUR KING...
NORTON IS OUR KING.

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

Did she get dressed in the dark? #eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

An early lead for @greg_jenner... #eurovision

[Notgreggwallace @GreggggWallace]

"Hello London, what are your scores tonight?" #Eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

Did they just say "Grand Wizard"?! #awkward #kkk #eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

Officially the most famous Australian arsehole since Russell Crowe. #eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

That's one fewer Australian going home... #Eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

One of your colonial subjects, @Queen_UK? #eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

I found #Portugal's entry a touch insensitive, in the week Catweazle died. #eurovision

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

Pro tip, Ukraine: It's always awkward when the interval show completely destroys all of the main acts. #Eurovison

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

Wow. It's like La Roux was good. #Eurovison

[The Daily Thompson @EmmyThomps]

Kylo Ren from the Norway band is about to turn up and kill these storm troopers for taking their helmets off. #Eurovison