Ensign Marty Harper

2nd Assistant Engineer (recently demoted due to misunderstanding involving equipment misconfiguration and use of non-certified objects in ships repair)

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Just picked up a strange signal on long range sensors. It said something about "milkshakes in the yard".

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

First contact situation with species of humanoids covered in nipples did not go well. Finally got out of their prison. #DiplomaticIncident #Cleavage19

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Got too close to a black hole in shuttle craft. Did I miss anything?

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Pandemic on Rigel 5. Ferrengi alliance already selling tentacle sanitizer marked up 5000% #startrek

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Klingon fart just took out life support on the shuttle craft #hotboxed #transporterstothe rescue

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Taking CE class on time travel. Teacher wasn't amused when I said I forgot my homework tomorrow. #StarTrek #humor #trek #StarTrekPicard

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

#engineering #CE classes this week: advanced squeegee techniques to clean pads after transporter malfunctions. #StarTrek #StarTrekDiscovery #trek #mess

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Transporter accident today captured somebody's luggage destined for "Newark Airport." Crew trying to figure in which system that planet resides. #lostLuggage #StarTrek #trek #notMyFault #thisTime #smellsLikeOldSpice

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

My attempt to dress up the bridge with potted plants failed. How was I to know the plants were sentient and part of a visiting delegation? #veganIsMurder apparently. #trek #StarTrek

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Not sure what's worse? #ferengi #ransomware on #tricorders or #romulan identity protection program offered as a fix? #StarTrek #trek #shipsComputerNowAcceptsBitcoin #btc

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

My job this week has been to improve Scotty's communicator spam filter. Every system we go through he gets tons of requests for people to beam up. #StarTrek #trek #noIntelligentLife #funny #joke #noWeWontTakeYourMotherInLaw

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

#TIL ship's computer has a yeast infection. #StarTrek #StarTrekUniverse #trek #TrekTech #StarTrekDiscovery #dontDrinkFromTheReplicator

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

While I am in awe of first officer Spock's extensive moisturizing regimen, it's not all that easy to clean off of the control panel. #startrek #StarTrekEnterprise #24thCenturyProblems #replicatorDoesntMakeWetWipes

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Note to self: not a good idea to store a photon torpedo in a janitorial closet. although on a positive note that section of the ship is much less cluttered now. #StarTrek #boom #eod #trek #StarTrekDiscovery

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

#inthe24thCentury the show #survivor is still on. #robotAmarosa usually wins

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

My robot room cleaner just formed a union and is demanding universal mechanical maintenance. #StarTrek #trek #robotuprising #singlePayer #laugh #wat #triCordersUnite

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Installed too many #apps on my #tricorder. Every time I scan something a pop-up ad for Vulcan transporter beam insurance appears. #StarTrek #ScottyNeedsThat

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Everybody on board is nervous due to laundry mishap turning everybody's uniforms red. #StarTrek #trek #redshirt

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

Captain was not impressed with me replacing the red alert sound with Camptown Races. #StarTrek #trek #dooDah

[Ensign Marty Harper @EnsignMarty]

#FunFact: a graviton beam can remove unwanted hair, also wanted hair. #StarTrek #engineertricks #donttrythisathome #ouch