Environment Officer

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Funny how many #EnvAgency colleagues choose to "work from home" last few weeks of the year. No need to use up holiday time wink wink #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

CLASSIC: When you're skiving off at the #EnvAgency and you bump into another colleague who is doing the same, and you both go for a bevvie

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

You won't catch single #EnvAgency Officer out in this weather. Half "working at home" watching Jeremy Kyle and other half browsing net #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Welcome to the #EnvAgency where you get to do nothing all day every day and still get paid. #Defra #DreamJob

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Flood Risk Management have new remote control boats - team of us taking them out to play with. Forget any other duties we have! #PMQs #Defra

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Word goes round for volunteers to help locals re weather - NO ONE volunteers. Like hell we're going out in this weather! #PMQs #Floodaware

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Group trip to Derwent Reservoir - 6 Env & 5 Fisheries Officers, picnic lunches all round. No reason for visit but nothing else planned #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

2 hr team meeting involving bitching and snipping colleagues and operators. As productive a day as it will get to be honest #EnvAgency #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Mite throw in 2 hours lunch break and put down just an hour - got some personal errands to run you see. Senior management do the same neway

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Again start my shift at 10am and will finish by 4pm, but as usual will put down 9am - 5pm instead. Perks of working at #EnvAgency #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Accepted £250 off a site operator to provide details of rival's potential clients. Nice little deal that occurs regularly #EnvAgency #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Carrying out surveillance on farmer I don't get on with - no warrant, no authorisation. Won't stand up in court, but not my money #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Just got into work - clocking down 9am start though. Need the "overtime" for a flexiday off. MP3 on, coffee and chill browsing the web #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Waste site in serious breach of their environmental permit. Put a one sentence response on compliance assessment report noting nothing #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Expenses time. Only done 90 miles, but gonna claim for 320 miles and pocket £45 again. Team leader never checks anyway #EnvAgency #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Letter from EA Pension Fund: 4 years in the job and already entitled to £3,284 per year pension. I'll retire on £32,840 at this rate #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Got a call from a resident about a pile of waste on fire at a site. Logged it and forgot about it. Thing has now got worse. Oops. #PMQs

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

The Environment Agency #EnvAgency - where people go to retire on public largesse. #Dredging

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Me and a bunch of colleagues using #icebucketchallenge to bunk off work. Team leaders doesn't care what we do instead. Sweet.

[Environment Officer @EOEnvAgency]

Almost feel like a benefit cheat - paid free money for little to no work. Hope no one else clicks on - now to bilk the mileage system #PMQs