The Epic Lungfish

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

@unchartedatlas The capital of Taksas is Panik? Sounds about right, at the moment

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

@mactavish My lungfish tank is filled with energy drink. I guess my chance of mortality went from 100% to 100%+panic

[A bear @A_single_bear]

Do I look like this? I do not think I have a bow on my neck, but I cannot be certain. I am a bear.

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

And tonight's winner is Prof.-Dr. Marie-Thérèse de Fumes, countess-in-exile of C'hewy in Brittany and Crunchy near Narbonne, currently living in a crate on a pig farm outside Smackover, Arkansas. She has won an orange. Congratulations!

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

@mactavish It is what we lungfish refer to as "word salad". We got the term from hominids.

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

You *go*, bear. I breathe my approval in your general direction (not that you need my approval at all).

[A bear @A_single_bear]

I define myself as a bear because that is how I see myself. If a mean-spirited sparrow wants to say I am a fox, it does not change the fact that I am a bear.

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

I received my first divine revelation last night! I was starting to think it'd never happen! I think it's in a foreign language, though: "Dung bat-bat, dung bat bat bat bat bat-bat bat dung dung bat bat bat bat bat-bat-bat bat bat dung bat"

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

I sued that #quack #physician for €53 #zillion, and I won! Since then, I split my time between #Burns, the #beach, #BootCamp, #Boise, #Bismarck, #Belize, #Boston, and the #bottom of a #barrel in #Bognor (since the #boring #blokes at my flat only let me in for 2 hours overnight).

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

I am covered in hives! The surgeon wore a #porkpie hat during my entire 53-hour #septuple #bypass! Doesn't the EMR have an #allergen field?

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

I *still* know #whodunnit. #truecrime #coop #rooping

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

"Captain Meth, in the chicken coop, with the rooping iron"

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

Ah, Miss (now Ms.) #Testosterone #Ballesteros. A once in a lifetime #performance, that. I still have the scars from the incisions in my spleen to prove it!

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

Miss Testosterone Ballesteros will be gargling live Bibles tonight at the Five and Dime, 115 E. Main. $5. BYOB.

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

A #WhereAreTheyNow update: #JamesonFlerch, now rich as #Midas, was recently seen with a flowing #manbun, wearing #jorts over #meggings in a #tony nightclub in downtown #Malibu, #Oklahoma. Gal-pal #GalGadot was nowhere in sight, likely because she is not really his pal.

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

"#JamesonFlerch has $250k; will he start coughing & go for $1.5m in this cold season's #1 game show, #HackUpALung?"

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

So I figured I should post an update. Once she found out, the #Queen used some kind of #magic spell in ancient #Norman to evict me from -4 St. #Swithin's #Icepick. I now reside in lovely #Bognor, where I share a #flat with 16 #blokes but am only permitted to go in between 2-4am.

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

Yes, I've finally bought land in London, and now I can build the potato-shaped building of my dreams! The address: -4 St. Swithin's Icepick

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

This is still #sotrue. I've been #hootin' there every #Thursday night until the #return of my own #personal #lungfish #Messiah, Burt.

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

I built a #chorten / Out of #gluten / It's for the #hollerin' / And for the #hootin'

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

@Kurz_Gesagt "Quaaack-quack qu'quack," it says in my Lungfish-to-Duck dictionary. That means "Hello." It also means "Do you think the plush ducks will be available to purchase before the December holidays?"

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

I think my business is ready for the Big Time! I'm going to schedule the IPO for July 31st

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

No, no, no. I *ate* the #divingbell. It was delicious, and very high in iron. And I crave iron. And #sulfur. F... and S. And riboflavin. I have a cravin' for #riboflavin. Is that unusual for a lungfish?

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

"Due to budget cuts, North Fungerhut Township has had to lay off all police detectives. In their place, we will be using the Websleuths forum for all investigations. Thank you for your understanding. Sincerely, Mayor McCheese."

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

I was almost given 100% ownership of a gold mine in Bevilacqua, Nebraska. "No", I said. "I prefer my acqua without bevils. Bevils are sharp and scratchy." Then I went back to my weevil farm.

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

Why are there so manyyyyy / Songs about cloacae

[The Epic Lungfish @EpicLungfish]

This is a test. Have I achieved 280 characters yet? Or am I still a #limited, limited #lungfish? I will test it and see. How much text can I #lung in here with my little #flippers before I am told to stop? Only time will tell. I will keep #flippering until I can #flipper no more!