EricoMakaveli

Article Writer/ Digital Nomad
Rec & Performing Artist
Videographer + D.O.P

[George Njoroge @georgenjoroge_]

THE QUIET FUNERAL OF CENTRAL KENYA

We have a big problem and nobody is talking about it.

Not in church. Not in the county assembly.

Not at the barber shop. Nowhere.

Let me tell you how I found out.

This year I needed to hire people.
A driver. A shamba boy. A gardener. A farmhand for my goats in Kingeero.

Simple jobs. Honest jobs. Jobs our fathers did with pride.

I am now on my TENTH driver. Tenth.

And it is barely August.

I am not quoting a government survey. I am not quoting NACADA.

I am quoting my own payroll.

Driver number one disappeared on a Tuesday. Found Thursday.

Driver number four came to work smelling like a distillery with a birth certificate.

Driver number seven asked for an advance on Monday and a funeral on Friday, his own liver was writing the eulogy in advance.

As I write this, my current driver is sitting in a police station.

Arrested for drunk driving.

From a MORNING assignment. Not a night out. Not a wedding. A morning assignment I sent him.

The sun had barely cleared Ngong Hills and this man was already gone.😕

Walk through any shopping centre in Central Kenya at 6am and count the men leaning on verandas waiting for the den to open.

Men aged 25 to 45.

The exact men who should be marrying, building, planting, carrying coffins of the OLD, not filling them.

These are working alcoholics.

They show up.

They function. Barely.

They drive your matatu.

They wire your house.

They handle your goats.

And every shilling they touch goes through a keg tap before it reaches home.

And here is the part that breaks me.

Go to the villages.

The shambas are being run by women.

The chamas are women.

The church is women.

The funerals committee is women.

The boys are at the base.

An entire generation of Kikuyu men is quietly drinking itself out of history, and we are watching it happen through our car windows on the way to work.

Who will marry the girls?

I am serious.

Our daughters are graduating, working, buying plots and looking around at a marriage market of men who cannot pass a breathalyser at 8am.

We keep asking why our girls are single at 35.

The answer is staggering home right now from a den in Wangige.

Who will cry for the boy child?

Everyone laughed when that phrase started.

Nobody is laughing in Central Kenya.

We buried the boy child a long time ago.

We just haven’t held the funeral, because the men who should carry the casket are drunk.

And the funerals themselves, have you noticed?

A 34-year-old dies and the eulogy says “after a short illness.”

No. Name the illness.

The illness is sold in a 300ml bottle for fifty bob behind the market.

The illness has a distributor, a supply chain, and protection.

We are the region of coffee. Of tea. Of hustle.

Of men who walked from Kingeero to Nairobi barefoot and built empires.

And their grandsons cannot walk from the den to the gate.

So I am asking, honestly, painfully, with ten drivers worth of evidence:

Who will talk about this?

The politicians won’t the dens are voters.

The church whispers about it once a year.

The families hide it out of shame.

We have a problem.

It is not coming.

It is here.

It has a police OB number and it is sitting in a cell wearing my company’s uniform.

Central Kenya is not dying of poverty.

Central Kenya is dying of thirst and it keeps drinking the wrong thing.

[Kimemia 🎹🌊 @its_kimemia]

Uber emails be like "Thanks for riding"

[EricoMakaveli @Eric_Germ]

@whereisjackkk Slightly Used 7 seater for 18500 at Kenyatta road opposite Juja City Mall or Burudani Club

[EricoMakaveli @Eric_Germ]

@Bookten8 office chair @6500

[Delo @TheOtherDelo_]

Ukipata dem ako obsessed na wewe,sanasana hawa wanono usiogope kumkopa ama kumcon.

[Kevin Jordan @kevin_jordan__]

4. Speed Over Perfection

Speed defined Napoleon's leadership.

He once dictated 7 letters to different officials in a SINGLE hour.

His campaigns were famously fast.

His armies marched over 12 miles a day - double the norm for his time.

Done fast beats done perfect.

[blue @bluewmist]

most of your "adult" problems can be avoided if you:

- regularly workout
- get a 2nd income source
- eat real food
- find 3 real friends
- live below your means
- do what you love for work
- don't have kids with the wrong person

[EL NAVI @KWPFIVE]

Dawa ya kila kitu ni kufast. If you can handle straight 7 Days with water and salt (Himalayan pink salt) juu ya electrolytes.
There's nothing, nothing you can't heal from. Even eyesight is because of your stomach. Its a whole science behind it.

[Vincent Kraft ⋮⋮ Cycles @KRAFTCycles]

Definitely, if you’ve got the patience of a monk, the discipline of a Navy SEAL, and the emotional detachment of a robot, trading can absolutely feel like printing money.

But before you start dreaming of yachts and Lambos, ask yourself: are you ready to pay the real cost of this skill?

[Josef @joseftrades]

Yes, trading is a money-printing skill.

[Bambulu 2.0 @BambuluMen]

Everyone tells you to disappear for 6 months to change your life.

But they never tell you what to do in those 6 months.

Let’s discuss How To Disappear And Transform Yourself In 2025

A Thread.

[Soulja Boy @souljaboy]

Be the nigga who got away and got his life together.

[Kilian Rannou @KilianRannou]

You were lied to.

Success isn't luck, talent, or hard work.

Napoleon Hill spent 25 years studying millionaires and discovered what success truly is:

Mindset.

6 must-have mental habits that guarantee your way to make millions in less than 5 years:

[dennis @AkainuBerbaric]

Ukisha master the art of turning down pussy no matter how fine she is kitu itakukula kichwa kwa hii maisha ni pesa and that's where your priorities should always lie

[EricoMakaveli @Eric_Germ]

@MoneyTradeEdge Since I started trading, I now hate weekends and can't wait for Monday

[Dylan O'Sullivan @DylanoA4]

This passage from Schopenhauer is so brilliantly brutal

[EricoMakaveli @Eric_Germ]

@Sperratto_ Altho niliabika, nilikumbuka ile quote ya "better to have it and not need it; than need it and not have it!"

[EricoMakaveli @Eric_Germ]

@Sperratto_ Nlikua nimeenda ku re-new ATM card, apo kwa teller after kuitishwa id nilifungua wallet kuitoa cd ikaanguka bana.. Kila mtu alicheka juu ilikua ya sure na mnajua inakuanga ya red so mtu anaeza iona ata akiwa a million kilometres away😂

[feyisayo 💸 @feyiszn]

Remember to beef up your wardrobe in times of plenty. So that when things are rough, at least you can still step out looking great. It helps with the confidence.