The United States has sent this 79-year-old man with a limited vocabulary, whose face is painted in orange pigment and hair is indescribable, overseas to Asia, ostensibly to speak to America's interests, but all he is likely to do - in incomplete and broken sentences - is talk about which wars he thinks he has ended, how stupid his predecessors were, how he incorrectly thinks tariffs work, how awesome his new ballroom will be, and perhaps rant, ramble, and riff about windmills, whales, water pressure, before suddenly segueing into more about who he hates, who he likes, and who he thinks likes him.