Erik Tait

Comedian, Magician, and 140 character raconteur that can fit 3 tacos in his mouth.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

Protip: You can use post-it notes as extremely temporary tattoos.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

Our queen is in trouble. Avengers. Assemble.

[kesha @KeshaRose]

I just got dumped for the first time… in my LIFE… Can you believe it?
We’re all fucked.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

@KeshaRose That sucks out loud. Fortunately the future is always better than the past.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

Dear @Starburst, my partner is sick and sent me to the store with the instructions, “I need starbursts. Please bring me a handful of pink.” Upon getting home from the store this is what I found. This is basically a candy war crime.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

@ColumbusPolice Your officers have used chemical irritants against journalists, a congresswoman, and cooperative civilians following orders to disperse. Your officers have fired wooden bullets directly at protestors, contradicting the manufacturers directives. There has been no accountability.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

Please excuse my Chihuahua. He thinks he is people.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

@AmericanAir I’m looking forward to spending my next twelve city tour about this. Maybe someone should call me immediately.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

My favorite part of flying @AmericanAir is when they hold you on the tarmac for twenty minutes. Close the gate as you walk up. And then you get to watch the airplane you were supposed to be on sit at the gate for 45 minutes before taking off. Oh. And the meal voucher ? $12.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

@AmericanAir Lol. You haven’t replied.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

Very important for @KeshaRose - Are you aware of the combat robot in @NationalHavoc built by a young woman inspired by you that has ablative glitter booty armor? It’s called Timber and it is wonderful.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

Wait, so Ellie is Mushroom Blade? #TheLastOfUs

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

I feel like if @andrewhunterm were really dedicated to knowledge I would meet them in Blackpool at the Blackpool magic convention this weekend. #YourMoveFish

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

For the first time I am watching @qikipedia in the UK. Now I just have to listen to @nosuchthing while I am here and I will have achieved a very modest dream.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

As an American, eves dropping in a pub in the north of the UK is very difficult.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

@andydowning33 To be fair. This worked for me.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

@kellyjandrews Follow me for more uplifting movie quotes!

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

Then: What’s your favorite movie quote?
Me: Come on Artax! Fight the sadness Artax!

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

Hey @thepiff what was it like in that arena when Captain Shrederator decapitated Ghost Raptor? Do you feel like your presence helped Ghost Raptor get the win?

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

@AmazonHelp Responded via form.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

Hey @amazon I have now ordered four bricks of @bicyclecards standard face and received four bricks of jumbo face because your entire warehouse is labeled wrong.

[Erik Tait @ErikTait]

@AmazonHelp Gwenyth, your stock in the warehouse is barcoded wrong. This is the second replacement I’ve done through the Columbus warehouse and gotten the same thing. Your receiver put the wrong labels on the incoming pallet.