Elizabeth Small

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

If enough people read this, maybe @Google will give us free storage space for life. Please?!

[Eddie Small @Eddie_Small]

I have been perpetually running low on Google storage space since around early 2021 and just wrote about it for @mcsweeneys. Please enjoy. https://t.co/27pQL3JJJ0

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

Baby shark is a gateway drug to Bebefin and I am over both of them.

[Eddie Small @Eddie_Small]

I have officially weighed in on the Baby Shark Discourse with a new piece for @PointsinCase. It is truly a momentous day. https://t.co/tla6eDFqft

[The New Yorker Humor @newyorkerhumor]

You know that silly game you like to play, which brings you a small amount of joy but is actually the reason that your career has stalled? Well, it may seem like you’re spending only a few minutes on it, but those minutes add up to three days a year. https://t.co/7R0woFJpKs

[Eddie Small @Eddie_Small]

My latest piece for @newyorkerhumor. I stand by the bold claim that playing Wordle is still fun. https://t.co/auUayeVRIO

[Dev Machette @DevMachette_]

One of the things I like the least about about myself is that I am always willing to get out of the way.

Whether it's putting my idea aside at work to focus on someone elses, making myself small to make others comfortable, or even physically rushing (read: legitimately running to my ball) on the golf course so I don't hold anyone up - I am always willing to step aside so that others can have their moment.

Even if it means I perform worse. Even if it means my ideas never get to shine.

One of my goals for this year is to stand my ground.

To push for my best ideas to cross the finish line even when I'm uncomfortable. Even when they contradict others thoughts or opinions.

To stop saying "if not, no worries" as a footnote so that the receiving party can feel less guilty about brushing off my thoughtful response.

To take that extra second to actually get myself lined up no matter who is in the golf cart waiting on me (even with a practice swing I'm never that slow.)

I have been conditioned to believe the worst thing I can do is take up the time and energy of others, yet to give all of my time and energy to others without pushback.

Not into it. Not my 2024. Ladies, stand your ground - take up space. I have a feeling we have a big year ahead.

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

Making parent friends is hard, especially when you're both trying to keep your kids from eating rocks at the playground.

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

"Sure, we’re both new dads, but apart from having recently gone through that same life-changing experience that fundamentally altered our worldviews and priorities, what would we talk about in between protective glances at our kids?"
https://t.co/tPgPzWw4Xn

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

Is everyone watching Suits? (We are too)

[Adam Singer @AdamSinger]

Wife and I been watching Suits, is good b/c:
-Self-contained episodes, don't want to have to watch 200 min of exposition to enjoy something, I have a life
-No made-up culture war nonsense (made before people lost their minds)
-Fun, competent characters
-Like lawyer Burn Notice

[Adam Singer @AdamSinger]

Wife and I been watching Suits, is good b/c:
-Self-contained episodes, don't want to have to watch 200 min of exposition to enjoy something, I have a life
-No made-up culture war nonsense (made before people lost their minds)
-Fun, competent characters
-Like lawyer Burn Notice

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

Worried your partner will be bored if you're in the wedding party? Bring a baby! They're sure to entertain.
@Eddie_Small's latest inspired by a great day with our daughter.
https://t.co/oeqOON8u9e

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

Especially if you’re comparing pets and children

[Eddie Small @Eddie_Small]

Most sentences that start with "I know it's not the same, but..." do not need to be finished.

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

Let us know if you want to come celebrate Lucy's first birthday with us! We promise it will be totally about her and only her and not about her parents at all.

[Eddie Small @Eddie_Small]

The best thing about first birthday parties is how aware the person turning 1 is of everything that is going on. Anyway, here is my latest piece for @newyorkerhumor.
https://t.co/eeCXeIw0CD

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

Feel free to send us TV recommendations - we'll get around to them in 2040 when our daughter goes to college.

[Eddie Small @Eddie_Small]

Why, yes, my ongoing quest to mine my baby for as much humorous online content as possible is going quite well, thank you. My latest for @newyorkerhumor https://t.co/5ZxNmpe5Fn

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

This does not look like a man who hates apple picking. Just saying. (2015)

[Eddie Small @Eddie_Small]

We were supposed to take our baby apple-picking for the first time today but are postponing it because of bad weather. I am heartbroken, as you can clearly tell by my latest piece for @newyorkerhumor. Happy fall everyone! https://t.co/WLo4lOt3ze

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

@AmberCadabra Sign me up!

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

Psa: you don't have to tell someone they look tired. It's never a compliment. And yes, I am tired.

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

141 events. 35 countries. 12 languages. 3 days. Are you ready for @DiveInFest 2022? Join us Sept 27-29 to discuss #diversityandinclusion in the insurance industry. Secure your spot and learn more: https://t.co/JCTjiUVpz0

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

In case you've been wondering what I've been up to lately, @petridishes nailed it.

[Alexandra Petri @petridishes]

here’s what I’ve been up to! https://t.co/bJDwp2aZ65

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

"If she gets fussy, please don’t take it personally or start obsessing over whether or not this is also how babies reacted when Ted Bundy held them."
https://t.co/uDATEoEBxe

[Elizabeth Small @esf928]

So glad the tough times are behind us

[Eddie Small @Eddie_Small]

Pretty much every time I told anyone I was going to be a dad, they would share their thoughts on what the toughest age for raising kids was, and it was pretty much always a different age. Anyway, here is my latest piece for @newyorkerhumor.
https://t.co/T3eJqAA2md

[Christina Garnett @ThatChristinaG]

Today has such Friday energy and I will not elaborate on that.