Tamriel News Network

Unofficial Elder Scrolls fan parody/news account. Not affiliated with or endorsed by Bethesda Softworks or ZeniMax Media.

[Tamriel News Network @ESNewsNet]

BREAKING: WIZARD INVENTS NEW FORM OF TRAVEL. DOES NOT SURVIVE ARRIVAL.

SEYDA NEEN, MORROWIND — A Bosmer enchanter named Tarhiel has fallen from the sky outside town following an experimental breakthrough in long-distance jumping.

Three “Scrolls of Icarian Flight” were recovered at the scene. Preliminary findings suggest the invention solves the problem of leaving somewhere considerably better than it solves the problem of arriving.

“He seemed very confident until we could hear him,” one traveler told TNN.

The Mages Guild has been asked whether this qualifies as a magical discovery or a road hazard.

Residents are advised to look both ways before crossing the road, then up.

TNN’s travel desk continues to recommend the silt strider.

— Tamriel News Net
Bringing you the news. Preferably at ground level.

[Tamriel News Network @ESNewsNet]

🚨 BREAKING FROM SKYRIM:

A DRAGON HAS DESTROYED HELGEN.

Survivors arriving in Falkreath claim a massive black dragon descended from the mountains without warning, setting the settlement ablaze and tearing through Imperial defenses.

The creature reportedly vanished north shortly after the attack.

Imperial officials have not confirmed the casualty count.

More troubling: several witnesses insist the dragon was speaking.

There have been no confirmed dragon attacks in Skyrim for centuries.

Until today.

ESNN correspondents are now investigating reports of additional sightings near Whiterun.

— Elder Scrolls News Network

[Tamriel News Network @ESNewsNet]

Griefing scalebacks on #Keizaal online

[Tamriel News Network @ESNewsNet]

🚨 ESNN EMERGENCY UPDATE:

The Imperial Legion has begun sealing roads leading into the Imperial City.

Travelers from the south report entire villages abandoned overnight, with ash falling from the sky and red lightning visible beyond the hills.

Several Legion patrols dispatched to investigate have not returned.

The Elder Council has not issued a public statement.

One soldier speaking to ESNN on condition of anonymity gave us only six words:

“They’re coming through faster than we can kill them.”

More as this develops.

— Elder Scrolls News Network

[Tamriel News Network @ESNewsNet]

🚨 BREAKING: KVATCH HAS GONE SILENT.

ESNN has lost contact with correspondents inside the city after witnesses reported a massive Oblivion Gate opening outside the walls.

Imperial forces are reportedly mobilizing across Cyrodiil as additional gates continue to appear.

Residents are being told to stay off the roads and seek shelter.

We are now receiving reports of creatures emerging from the gates.

This is no longer an isolated incident.

This is an invasion.

ESNN will continue broadcasting for as long as we can.

— Elder Scrolls News Network

[Tamriel News Network @ESNewsNet]

🚨 BREAKING — 27th of Last Seed, 3E 433

Reports are coming in from across Tamriel of enormous fiery gates appearing without warning.

Witnesses claim strange creatures have begun emerging from the portals, while Imperial authorities have yet to explain what is happening.

The situation appears to be developing rapidly.

ESNN has correspondents en route.

More tonight.

[Josh Paul @dttpeople]

This is James Lindsay's one-trick pony move. He finds something neutral that woke leftists use for negative ends. Then he falsely concludes that all uses of that neutral thing are negative. Really basic and remedial error.
Full youtube video link:
https://t.co/bbILxbfo9b

[Ben Wehrman @benwehrman]

@uncensored1889 @ronin21btc https://t.co/WuU50C1eh3

[Pope Groyper @PopeGroyp]

@NickJFuentes Let me guess, Hitwuh?

[Not Floppa @Wignationalist]

@ConceptualJames

[Trad West @trad_west_]

Christ is King!

[Richard Johnson @thedickjohnsons]

@EYakoby I went thru the accounts that amplified your post

[The General @1776General_]

🚨AIPAC Tracker is advocating for a foreign invasion.

We have more than one enemy, folks.

[MisterBobDobolina @dobolina_mister]

@realmikolson @benshapiro Here’s Ben Shapiro articulating his position as the BIBLICAL DEFINITION of the antichrist. We’re good. We know our purpose and our divine calling: defeat this.

[Kaguya’s Top Gal @hayasaka_aryan]

_

[MulletGrop @MulletGropper]

@ConceptualJames "They're subversive leftists." 💀