Elizabeth Snyderman

Reformed comedian. Born again epidemiologist. | PhD student at the University of Texas. All opinions are my own

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@ people who went to a small liberal arts college and are still straight: how does it feel to have wasted $250k?

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

This happened when I was at my cousin’s wedding and I got to tell the bridesmaids’ table and it was kind of like that scene from the Newsroom where he told the pilot they got Bin Laden

[celia @vinylfolklore]

the screams for the reputation outfit change were insane i’ll never forget this day and i wasn’t even there

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@sanguineblood Like why is her anatomical age younger than her chronological age? Is she malnourished? Someone needs to be looking in this

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@goodboyjpg Even her first album has some real jams

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@rentierrobbe Hey man, that’s not a very nice way to talk to a stranger

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@kittenheelsrule Women need to stop dating loser old men who think they’re “too old.” The world is full of 26 year old men who would love to date a 32 year old woman.

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@jessesingal Imagine saying you don’t appreciate older women and thinking that makes you look good 🙄

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@Clint_Davey1 Interestingly, the only piece of Vietnam War media I’ve seen where the US was 100% the good guy was a play by the son of two South Vietnamese refugees (Vietgone)

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@cowboylikellie2 Call me old fashioned but I think if you’re going to make a joke about a planned terrorist attack it should at least be funny

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@spinningturn Are you implying Reba doesn’t serve?????

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@JohnnyCallicutt Nancy deserves better than this

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@ed_hop Some shit someone leaves at your house and you carry it with you for like 3 moves before you finally throw it away

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@White_Janissary The Fathers’ Rights Truck is going the wrong way down a one way street

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@StanthonyEdwrdz Yeah we definitely need to take Hawaii soon, but the idea of Hawaii controlling so much mainland does tickle me so I’m voting Oregon next

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@seanw_m Chicago burned to the ground at the exact perfect time in history

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@ferald_gord Putting Griswold as worse than Roe is so funny. Abortions are fine but god forbid people use condoms

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@Vibutler_ “Adjustment disorder” is similar. It basically means “your behavior is a rational and normal response to your situation but your situation sucks.”

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@itsevidentvery I mostly liked this book but ultimately couldn’t finish it because it was too stressful.

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@LegoKingo Yeah the fact that I don’t remember every detail from my American history class in 2011 is not an indictment of my history teacher or my school

[Elizabeth Snyderman @ESnyderman]

@No5mallf3at What do they think the "it" in "Ready For It" is?????